Extension of Self: A Romanogers Story
by Captainstapler
Summary: The moments between Steve and Natasha before, during, and after the events of Infinity War.
1. Before the War

He turned on his side to face her. He was lying in a small bed, and there was a woman lying beside him.

He smiled. "Hi."

"Hi." She yawned, stretching her arms over her head. Her eyes opened up a little more, and she assessed him, seemingly drinking in the sight of him.

Steve Rogers lay beside her, arm propped under his head like a pillow. He was smiling his genuine smile, the one she always seemed to catch. He was looking at her attentively. Almost as if she might vanish if he blinked.

"Last night was..." she trailed off.

He closed his eyes, embarrassed for whatever she was going to say next.

"...something else." She smirked and relaxed a little more.

They stayed there, holding each other's gaze. It was nice, to say the least, almost natural. It baffled them both just how comfortable they were, laying there next to one another with only sheets in between them. This was the very first time.

They had been partners for so long, they trusted each other like no one else. The way they worked together made it obvious to everyone that they were close both in mind and in heart. Neither of them had thought there was room for anything more. Yet they secretly knew it wouldn't be terrible if something more came about.

They had been together, on the run. Again. Though, this time it wasn't just them. They had a team. Overtime, this team had become a family of sorts. They had been there for each other when each of them needed it most.

A sturdy foundation, Steve would always say. Though when he said it, he always thought of glue. Silly as it might sound. He thought that the glue that held that team together was the joint leadership between himself and Natasha.

They had been working under the radar, trying to do what they could to help out when they could. They kept moving from place to place, searching everyday for a place to rest their heads on for the night. Though this time, the two of them rested their heads on the same pillow, on the same bed.

His face changed slightly, as something overcame his mind. Was it sadness, or worry that seemed to plague his eyes? She knew him well enough to know it was concerning. He cleared his throat, and she tensed.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this." He averted his eyes from hers.

"I'm not. I'm not sorry." She said quickly, a smirk on her face. "It wasn't that bad Steve, and we have time work on it. The rest of our lives."

Steve raised an eyebrow as his face turned red, then smiled. "Nat. I only meant that you deserve better than a crummy motel in the middle of nowhere." He chuckled. "But yes, we can work on it."

"I don't know," she looked around the room, the walls were an ugly yellow that clashed with the grey colored door and bathroom. "it's got character. Could be worse."

He looked around them, the paint peeling, cracking walls complimented the dirty tile floor. He smiled at it in good humor. "You're right." He looked at her, glad she was there to add in her humorous comments. Though he'd be the first to admit that at one point her humor irritated him. Back when they first started to get to know each other, he found her constant sarcasm... difficult, to say the least. She was always snarky when he was serious.

Oh how things have changed, he thought.

"It doesn't change the fact that it could be better. You deserve the very best, Natasha."

Steve reached over and brought Natasha's hand to his lips. Her hand had a new piece of jewelry on it, that Steve tinkered with after he brought her hand away from his kiss. It was a simple looking wedding band that matched the one on his finger. Silver, not gold, and that was an deliberate choice they both made. Silver was a clean slate, and not as shiny and pretty as gold, but just as tough.

"But you see I've already got the best. I've got you." She tugged on his arm and moved him closer to her. They were too far apart for her taste. She leaned in, beckoning him to kiss her. Like any good soldier, or any good husband, he complied.

She pulled away just enough for their noses and heads to be lightly pressed together. Like a lily pad on water.

She ran her hand through the beard on his face. It had gotten long, and heavy. It covered his face well, and she missed seeing his fresh face, so dashing and beaming with goodness. The beard also reminded of of the truth of their situation being on the run. It also brought memories of the reasons why they were on the run, and a civil war that had occurred not too long before. A war that separated them, and had broken her heart. It made him look different too. He looked a harsher man than he once was, and it was fitting because this was the man he had now become. He used to be a hopeful and bright eyed man. Now he was just a hardened man, still good, but hard. So, she hated the beard.

He placed his hand atop hers, and he closed his eyes. He leaned his face into her touch, nuzzling his nose and lips into her hand.

"Hey," he whispered. "just a little reminder... I love you."

"Thanks. I'll try to remember that. But you might have to remind me that again later. I'm sort of distracted at the moment, Rogers."

He laughed what she called his 'old man laugh'. Which came booming from his chest, followed by his truest smile. "You're Rogers now too. You know that?"

"No legally."

"You mean, 'Not yet'."

Exiles from the country they called home wasn't the easiest title to bear. Especially when they were trying to get married in a foreign country, while simultaneously hiding from people from their home country. They couldn't run back to the states to get a marriage certificate from the state of New York, much to Steve's dismay.

When the time came for them to be admonished from their crimes, and accepted back into the US without any targets on their backs, then they'd get married legally. Natasha had promised Steve that much.

Thus, the wedding was very small, and very rushed. Sam was able to acquire a priest willing to preform a ceremony in their particular circumstances, and at such short notice. Which was impressive seeing as Sam didn't speak French.

The wedding took place in an old church somewhere in France, at a time of day where light from the newly risen sun came shining through the stain glass windows, illuminating the dark church with a vast array of colors. It was beautiful, to say the very least. Steve wore what he could find, a button up shirt, slacks, and a tie. Natasha looked slightly more the part, sporting a simple dress fashioned from an old parachute. Though it did not look like it was made by a Sokovian in under 6 hours. Natasha wore it well.

Steve had surprised Natasha by finding a Russian Orthodox priest, so that the wedding would be one from her culture. The ceremony began with the reciting of blessings and some scripture passages. Then the blessing of the rings. The priest exchanged the rings between the two of them three times, to signify that the weakness of one will be compensated by the other. Then two candles were lit, and the priest joined their two hands.

Steve had memorized and then recited a scripture verses from the Song of Solomon in Russian to Natasha, and she recited a love poem to him in French. Then they were crowned with Garland wreaths for crowns, the two wreaths remaining attached by a string. Then they took three sips from the same cup, reminding them that they will share everything. Then the priest lead them to walk around the alter three times. The first steps of this walk were the first of their married life together. There was the final parting blessing on each of them, then the priest exclaimed; "Na zisete!" ending the ceremony.

Wanda and Sam were the wedding party and witnesses. Even though Sam dined himself best man, he barely understood a word that was spoken during the ceremony. Though he swears by his life that it did take place, and that it was valid. Wanda was just smiling through it all, so glad that two people she cared about deeply were finally tying the knot. Though the wedding brought to her thoughts of someone else that she cared deeply for and sorely missed.

A few hours before the wedding had taken place, Natasha found Steve sitting on a crate, staring at nothing.

She could see the exhaustion in the bags under his eyes. They had been running for far too long. It had taken a tole on all of them. Steve was just better at not letting it show. Though Natasha could always pick up on it. He hadn't given her much besides a tired look every now and then, behind the view of the rest of the team. Steve didn't let it get to him, not fully, until right now.

He opened his eyes, and they were full of compassion and love, yet they were so tied. His eyes were moist, and he seemed to be holding back tears. Natasha's heart skipped a beat. There was fear in his eyes too. He looked like a broken little man in that moment. She could see what he felt, and what he feared. Just as they shared similar tactical minds, and could read each other's movements, they could also read each other's emotions.

He had always needed her, if just as a partner and a friend. She could tell he had been needing a woman's touch and tender care. He had needed to be taken care of just as he took care of everyone else. She was honored take on this new role. Taking care of Steve Rogers, not the worst thing to put on ones resume, she thought. Although she had always taken care of him, it would now be in a different capacity.

"Hey. We're going to be alright, Steve. We're gonna be fine."

He shook his head. "I'm just afraid Nat. I don't know how long we can keep doing this. Not before we slip up. It's bound to happen. We keep running, and getting lucky... but- but, we're only human."

"Some of us are super human. Remember?"

"Exactly. Those of us who aren't enhanced stand an even greater chance at taking a hit that can't be shaken. Even though we're who we are, we're not invincible. And... you and Sam..."

"Can take pretty good care of ourselves. We have been able to, even before you came along."

Steve shook his tired head, and smiled knowingly. He knew she was right, but he also knew that only he and Wanda had different powers that gave them an extra level of protection.

"Hey, we all know what we signed up for. We're all still here because we believe in what we're doing."

He sighed. He had so much fear that he'd lose a member of his team. Most of all, he feared losing her.

"Steve. Look at me."

Steve looked up at her, she stood right next to him. Eyes peering into each others souls, the mutual message was sent and received. They would continue to go on, and if they were to go down, they'd do that together. They were so close, almost of the same mind, and only now were they both beginning to recognize this fact. It must have been quite clear to anyone else just watching them together. They would face what was to come, and go on this new journey more unified then ever.

He took her hand, with a new sense of determination filling his eyes.

"Rogers-"

He raised an eye brown.

"Steve."

"Yes?"

"These are dangerous waters you're treading."

He chuckled. "What ever do you mean?"

"Getting involved with me... you know you don't know everything..."

"Natasha, I've been 'involved' with you for the past six years. And I know I don't know everything. I don't have to." He shrugged his shoulders. "I know you."

"Steve-"

He placed a finger over her lips. "If you're looking for someone who'll question your past, and look at you differently because of what you've done, you might be in the wrong business, Romanoff."

She shook her head, hiding a smile.

"And I would like to know everything. Someday. When you're ready to tell me."

She was thankful to him for that. He didn't ever push her to divulge anything she wasn't ready to. Sometimes she wished he would. Then he'd know everything. But his patients and understanding were stronger than her control over him, and she admired him greatly for that.

"Thanks." She whispered. "I really mean it."

"Besides, it's too late to turn back now." He joked, then looked at her with seriousness. "I've given you my word. Natalia Alianovna Romanoff, I am not going anywhere." He kissed her hand, and smiled at her with his eyes.

She sighed. "You gotta stop doing that, Rogers."

"What?" He asked, genuinely curious, but still holding her gaze with his attentive blue eyes.

She bit her lower lip and shook her head. "Nothing... It's just, you." She placed a her hand on his cheek. He smiled at her, with his tired smile.

"Now's not the time to fall short of honesty, Romanoff. What we're about to do... you're gonna need some of it." He said semi-humorously.

"Steve, you know me. If there's anything I'm not, it's honest."

"I know. That's why I plan to make an honest woman out of you."

"So sure of yourself, aren't you?" She smiled playing along.

"Yup." He stood, kissed her on the cheek and left to go find Sam about a priest.


	2. The Vienna Op

"Remember the last time we where here?"

Sirens sounded, near by, as cars rushed past them. Headlights reflects off of the wet streets and onto Steve's face. He and Natasha were sitting in a car, outside a suspected human trafficking ring drop. Sam was sleeping in the back seat, it was their turn to keep watch.

It had been a calm night up to this point. They were in Vienna.

"The signing of the accords. How could I forget it? I flew straight here from London. I think we passed the coffee shop I was hiding out at." He looked over his shoulder.

"That was the beginning of the end for the Avengers." Natasha hated thinking back to how it all fell apart. It frustrated her to no end that she wasn't able to see eye to eye with some of her closest friends, and how that disagreement turned into a war.

"You know, you really scared me that day."

She turned to face him.

"My first thought was that you died."

Natasha's memories snapped back to that conference room as the bomb exploded.

"When I got over here... I didn't want to call at first. I just kept thinking that if your line was dead, nothing in the world would be right again."

"You were the first call I got. You asked me if I was alright."

"And you said yeah, proceeding to lecture me on not getting involved." He smiled and shook his head.

"I did have a point. If you hadn't gone after him..."

"He'd be dead. Without a doubt. I had to go after him. You know that."

She quietly nodded her head. He wouldn't be Steve Rogers if he didn't drop everything to help those he cared about. Especially after loosing someone.

Natasha never said it, but Steve's actions to save Bucky became more extreme and outrageous after Peggy Carter died. Natasha always felt that his connection to the man he was before the ice had began to dwindle after Hydra. She then saw that part of him die when Peggy Carter did. His last old friend, almost. There was still James Barnes.

She understood what he felt for Bucky, a friendship and the only one that connected him to his past. She understood their bond. She had a similar deal with Clint. If anything happened to him and his family, she didn't know what she'd do.

"I know." She began to trace lines on the palm of his hand. He didn't protest. "But I did say that you'd make things worse. Which you did."

"Yeah. I know. You were right. You usually are."

"And why did you get so close, and not come over to me? I mean I know you were trying to keep a low profile, but I could've been badly injured." She raised an eyebrow, half teasing and half expecting him to just laugh this one off.

"I was going to. I ran as fast as I could to the scene. Then I saw your hair. Like a lighthouse from the sea. And everything was alright again. I was relieved, and thankful. If you were breathing, you'd be okay. But still, I was going to walk over to you. Then I caught sight of a TV, and saw what they were saying about Bucky... That's why I called you. Because I knew that if I walked up to you, I wouldn't want to leave your side. I wanted to be sure you were okay, and safe.

"But I heard about Buck, and I knew right then and there what I had to do. I knew that you'd either try to stop me, or you'd try to come with me. I didn't want to give you that choice. I figured it'd be easier to hang up on you, then to look you in the eyes and disappoint you in person."

"Mmm." Natasha squeezed his hand. "You coward." She joked.

"I'd certainly say so." He sighed. "If I wasn't such a coward, I would've told you how I felt sooner. We might've had this sooner." Steve brought her hand to his lips. He kissed it and proceeded to admire the ring on her finger.

"Let's not dwell on what could've been, hu Captain? Life's too short for that."

Steve just shook his head, agreeing wholeheartedly. He was glad that after everything that happened he could still agree with his wife, and that he had one.

Time continued to pass uneventfully, and Sam continued to sleep, while Steve and Natasha continued to work. Silence was never uncomfortable amongst the two of them. In fact, they worked well in the silence. Between the two of them it was always comfortable, so long as they were together.

Steve had his hand rested on Natashas thigh, while she brushed her fingers through his beard absentmindedly. She was beginning to appreciate the beard, despite her best efforts.

Steve smiled. "Hey, Nat?"

"Hmm?"

"You're a beautiful woman Natasha," Steve said honestly.

She raised an eyebrow, she knew that tone, he was going somewhere with this.

"You're... you're stunning in everything..."

"And nothing..." She added on with a smirk.

The skin under his beard turned a tinge red. "Yes." he smiled fondly. "And... and yet..." he stopped himself. Seemingly unable to conjure words.

"You miss the red hair."

"You guessed it." He shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "It's true. I really do."

"Just say that next time." She shook her head. "Weren't you the one who said honesty was paramount?"

"Well, yeah. That's why I brought it up."

"Spit it out next time. Tell it to me straight. I like knowing your opinion." She smiled and shook her head. "For example; I hate this beard." She tugged on the hair growing out of his face. "Honestly."

His hand shot up to touch it. He looked at her with eyes that said "really?". He thought she liked the beard.

"It's just so..." she couldn't find the right word that summed up everything she hated about it. "...awful."

"Hu." He tried to catch a view of himself in the widow's reflection.

"Not that you don't look good. You always do. It's just I would have preferred you clean shaven."

"Good to know. I'd cut it right now, only..." His thoughts went to their situation. They were fugitives, on the run, hiding their appearances anyway they could. He almost swore Natasha was more at ease in this type of lifestyle. It was all she had known. Yet, more recently he could tell she wanted a change. She needed it, and perhaps some part of her wanted it to. What Clint had, a house, and a family. He didn't want to bring this up, not yet, not here.

"I'm busy." Steve gestured out the window at the place they were staking out.

"Really? With what?" She leaned in towards him.

He moved closer to her, whispering playfully. "I'm working."

"You sure about that?" Her fingers walk up his chest.

"At the moment, I'm sure. Ask me again later." He brought her hands to interlock behind his neck.

Their faces were inches apart, and they were slowly closing the distance that existed between. There was mischief in her eyes, and admiration in his.

"Ehem." Sam cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the two. Their heads shot back toward him. He shifted his shoulders awkwardly, and blinked twice. He had just woken up.

Steve tried not to laugh at his friend's face.

"Were we making you uncomfortable Sam?" Natasha said teasingly, her hands still on Steve's neck.

"I wasn't gonna say it. But since you did. Yes. Yes I'm a little uncomfortable right now."

"Only a little?" Steve looked to Natasha.

"We can fix that." Natasha said, and Steve nodded in agreement.

Natasha jumped over to the drivers seat atop Steve's lap. The two of them proceeded to passionately make out. They pulled out all the stops, insuring that Sam was as uncomfortable as he could be.

"Haha. Very funny guys." Sam rolled his eyes.

They continued on as if he hadn't said anything.

"Really guys? You gotta be kidding me. "

The two of them kept on at it, almost as if they forgot Sam was there entirely.

Sam turned to look out the window, trying to ignore the two in the front seat. "You know what. I'll do the recon. Just don't mind me. Doing my job. 'Gee, thanks Sam.' Oh no prob Cap, you just take a rest." he yawned, then sighed in exasperation.


	3. Coveted Conversations

"Two waters, no ice."

"It's scorching out there."

Natasha pointed over her shoulder. "My husband. He doesn't like ice in his water. Says it reminds him too much of being frozen in it."

The bar tender chuckled. "Funny. What, did he fall into a frozen lake when he was a kid?"

"Yeah, something like that. Salamat."

They were in the Philippines, in the middle of summer. To say it was humid, would be a complete understatement. It was what the bartender had said, scorching. Yet, they didn't mind. It was a beautiful country, and they had been stuck in worse weather.

"Hey," she slid next to him, and handed him his glass. "What's the plan, Captain?"

Steve shook his head. "After that op, I think we deserve at least 10 hours before we relocate. If you agree."

"I do." 10 as oppose to the normal 5, it seemed like a treat. A vacation even.

"Great. I knew you'd agree. I already told Sam and Wanda. Sam's gonna need the full 10 to rest."

"You alright?"

Steve had been quieter than normal. After they finished their recent op, he seemed off, to say the least.

They had just fought 10 Hydra agents, who were posing as a fishing crew just off the coast of Boracay. They had been a tough batch, who had a lot of advanced weapons that they were stocking up on. Steve took a big hit, but he shook it off quickly enough, no doubt thanks to the serum. Sam also got hit, and luckily Wanda was perfecting her healing hexes, so he was resting right now and recovering faster than he would have normally.

Though, for a second during the fight, Steve was thrown in a freezer for about 30 seconds. He broke through the door and crushed the assailant quickly thereafter. Natasha suspected that this had somehow brought him back to a different time. He never really talked about his past, before being frozen. Much similar to Natasha, he found it too painful to revisit old memories. Natasha was slow in revealing her past to him, and he was also very selective in the information he shared with her. She figured he would talk to her about it when he was ready.

"Yeah, I think I'm going alright. And if not, I'll be back to normal in no time." He smiled with his eyes again, they were tired, and also holding back.

She interlocked her fingers in his. Telling him without words, that she was there for him, whatever he wanted to do.

"You know, back in Russia, when I was growing up, in the Red Room..."

Steve turned his full attention to her, his face full of understanding and support. He knew how hard it was for her to talk about her upbringing.

"after we did well, or finished a mission successfully, we'd be reworded with thirty minuets of free time. We were given thirty minutes to do anything. The only time of our lives where we were completely in control of what we did, and the decisions we would make. It was liberating, and just long enough to keep us wanting more, so as to continue to performing well. But it wasn't enough time for us to realize just how important freedom felt. Not entirely."

"What would you do, in your thirty minuets?"

Natasha smiled sadly, she had intended to tell him this part, yet it didn't make it any easier. "While other girls would listen to music, or read a book, or sleep, I would get some extra training in. I wanted to be the best, and I did eventually get that title."

His heart broke for her.

"Though, every once in a while I would dance.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that what you chose to do, your free will, it says a lot about someone. What you do with your time will shape who you become."

"But Nat, you're not a cold hearted assassin."

"Not anymore. But I was. Though further down the line, I held on to the dancer in me. The one who found freedom liberating, and the point shoes a comfort."

"I've never seen you dance. Not really..."

"We should go dancing sometime."

"Yeah..." he paused.

"What?"

"The last time I told someone I'd go dancing... I was too late."

He looked out at the ocean, the beautiful beach which lead to the clear waters allowing the waves to gently roll in, again and again. He didn't want to look at her, as he hid a pained expression on his face. Natasha gently stroked his arm, feeling his pain.

"No one ever asked me what it was like." He said, softly. Natasha leaned in closer to hear.

"No one ever asked me what it was like. No one ever does. I know you wonder, but you don't pry, and I'm thankful." He turned to face her, his eyes sparkled with so many emotions.

"When I flew the plane into the ice... When I was in the ice... No one ever asked me what it was like. When I woke up, they just tried to get me up to date on the times and back in shape as quickly as they could. They just wanted me back in the field, to be used for their ends. And I let them. I let myself be a pawn in their game..." He sighed.

"What was it like?" She asked.

"Cold." He responded quickly, too quickly. His words began to run out of his mouth like a track star running for gold. "It was cold, dark, freezing and... like a bucket of cold water that never stops pouring."

"Did you dream?"

"No." His eyes were fixed on nothing as he stared. "I wish I had. I just crashed into cold, and blanked out. Though I always felt it. It was so cold and like a void of nothingness... Nothingness and cold for what seemed like an overly extended haze. There wasn't any dream, just feelings, longings..."

"It didn't feel as long as it was, thank God. But it felt as though it was a long sleep that I didn't need. And in what seemed like a blink of an eye, I was less cold, and in a lab, surrounded by strange devices and strangers. Then I blanked out. The next thing I knew, I was in a fake apartment listening to a game that already happened, knowing that something was very, very wrong."

He paused, as if he was afraid to go on. "And... it took me some time to... process everything. I may have seemed fine, but I was struggling to deal with it all. When you first met me, I was hardly even sleeping. I was afraid that I'd sleep a dreamless cold sleep again. I didn't want to wake up in another era unable to find anyone or anything I knew. It still scares me a bit. I try to live in the moment. You really don't know what you have, until it's all gone. And it takes a damn long time to build back up a network of people you... you care about. People you really love." He squeezed her hand.

Natasha pulled on his arm, brining his cheek to her lips as she planted a soft kiss. This was a delight to Steve, they weren't big on public displays of affection, ironically enough. It wasn't that they were uncomfortable, but that they preferred to share those moments in private. They valued their time together so much that they never wanted to share what little intimate moments they had with the rest of the world.

"So, what do you want to do for the next few hours?"

"I think I'm going to take a little breather. Maybe walk along the beach. I might even go dancing at sundown. All depends on if it's something you want to do."

"I'd love to. More than anything."

They made to get up.

"Oh. I almost forgot. I was out grabbing supplies with Wanda and I stumbled upon this. I thought you might like it."

Natasha handed him what seemed to be a weathered leather notebook. He took it and flipped through the pages. They were blank pieces of sketch paper. He looked up at her.

"Oh, and here." She handed him a pencil, and he kissed the hand that held it.

"Nat... Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. There are conditions. If you want to keep that you've got to start using it everyday. Or I'm burning it."

"Deal." He beamed with excitement and admiration for her. "Hey, let me start right now. Come sit over here. And hold this. And just sit still for the next thirty minutes."

She laughed a rare laugh, as Steve handed her the plant from the table, and begun looking from her to his sketchbook and back again.

"What have I done?"

"You've done everything, Natasha. Now stop talking and sit still."

For two very broken people, who would have thought they'd be so happy together? No one, not even me. Natasha thought, and then smiled one of her genuine smiles at her friend, partner, and lover. Steve just smiled back, blue eyes sparkling bright. She could really get use to this.

Happiness in the midst of tough times and hard situations. It was something they were ashamed to have at first. But Wanda and Sam assured them that they shouldn't feel guilty at all, and that they deserved it. They were two hard working people, who did their jobs and did them well, and took care of those on their team, sometimes neglecting to take care of themselves.

What they had was something that had resulted from of a 6 year partnership and friendship. The slow progression from partners to friends to something else seemed inevitable now. They were happy together, and exactly what the other needed.

Though their mini honeymoon didn't last long. Like all wonderful things, the bliss that they were experiencing had to come to an end.

Wanda had gone missing. It was a first. They had just finished an op in Australia, and decided to relocate to the Ukraine. It seemed as though they blinked and she was gone. They trusted her enough to believe she would be right back. When that didn't happen, they feared the worst. Their missions went on hold as they scoured the glob for her. But it was to no avail.

Somewhere along this frantic search they decided that sleep was imitate and that they should rest. Steve did this mainly for Sam and Natasha, since he didn't ever need sleep as much as they did. Another secret of the serum.

He also knew that they had taken it harder than they should have. Natasha having always felt an older sister bond with Wanda, having trained her and been with her since her world came crumbling down. Sam was taking it hard because he had become like another brother to her. They had spent a lot of time together in the past 2 years, so much so that she had started to use Sam-like humor. This always brought a look of pride to the Falcon's face.

Steve felt responsible for Wanda, and had a special kinship with her, due to their similar life choices that lead to them getting their powers. She was like a little sister to him too, and he was the leader of the group. He felt a very heavy weight due to her disappearance. He wondered if she had gone off the grid because she was tired of the runaway life. She was just a kid, and he knew it was tough on her. It had always been.

That night Steve shut his eyes for 10 minuets, and in that amount of time he seemed to be faced with all his worse nightmares combined. He was out on a battlefield, and had just stumbled through the trenches where he found hundreds of dead men in uniform. Some of the faces were those he knew. He saw the Howling Camandoes, Bucky too. They were all lifeless in the mud, their eyes open and staring ghostly at the sky.

Bombs were going off in the distance, and planes flew overhead. Smoke was everywhere and enemy forces were rushing toward him and his downed team.

His foot was stopped at another corpse. He looked down and saw Peggy lying next to two dead children, he recognized from photos. They were her children. He closed his eyes and stumbled backwards. The bombs getting louder.

When he opened his eyes he was on the crumbling Sokovia as it fell from the sky. Their was Pietro again, lying lifeless on the ground. Phill Cullson lay there too, covered in debries, and surrounded by bloodied Captain America trading cards.

He looked to his left to find Clint standing beside him. He held Wanda in his arms. She was lifeless, and there were tears in his eyes.

"Why didn't you do more Cap? Why couldn't you have just signed the damn papers?! Why couldn't you have kept us safe?"

Steve turned to his right, and his heart stopped. There was Natasha Romanoff, lying atop a pile of debries. He rushed over to her, and made to pick her up. There were more enemy forces coming for them. Steve lost his breath as he ran to her, sliding to her side as if it was to homebase. She seemed to still be breathing, and he tried to pick her up, but found that he couldn't. He looked down at his arms, and he was the scrawny kid from before the serum. He was a week little man, unable to carry his wife to safety, and unable to fight off the coming attack. When he looked up from Natasha, the enemy was already upon them.

Steve jolted up, covering his mouth to hold back a wale. He didn't want to wake Natasha. He let his head drop into his hands, sweat oozing out of his forehead. Guilt in his heart and a prayer on his lips.

He turned to his left to make sure he hadn't woken his wife, and to make sure she was still there, still alive. He was shocked to see her sitting upright with her arms crossed. She had on a completely blank face.

"Steve?" Even though it was full of concern, her voice soothed him.

"Nat- I didn't..." he paused trying to collect himself, and keep tears from materializing. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

She shook her head, much to Steve's concern. "No. I was already awake."

Her green eyes betrayed her. They told Steve she had just seen the worst.

"I have them too." She whispered.

In a matter of seconds, Natasha was resting in Steve's arms as he held her close. They stayed positioned like this in silence, knowing sleep wouldn't come for either of them that night. Eventually Steve thought it was about time to do something to distract their worried minds.

"You know, I haven't been to a baseball game since the forties." Steve said matter of factly.

"Hmm. Really? How relevant to our current conversation."

Natasha triumphed over the tightening of Steve's upper lip at her sarcasm.

"Just trying to make conversation."

"Or avoid what you saw at all costs." She sighed. "Steve, I didn't know you got nightmares like mine. Not this bad."

He could tell she wanted to ask why he hadn't confided in her about this. She was also very angered that she hadn't caught it herself. But she held back, only saying what was absolutely necessary. How very Natasha of her.

"Wanna talk about it? About what happened." She looked up at him with her dazzling emerald eyes pleaded with him. She had opened up to him at different times in the past, and he was there to hold her and comfort her from the horrors she woke from. Now she desperately wanted to return the favor. She wanted to take care of him like he did her.

Steve loosened his hold on her, and cleared his throat. "The war, was tough. loosing men you knew, seeing heads crushed out on the battlefield. Bloodied limbs no longer attached to the men who owned them. It stays with you. It happened a long time ago to all of you, but for me it just happened.

"I keep going, and fighting, because I don't know what'll happen if I stopped... Will these memories continue to haunt me? Might I crack, and go insane. I've seen a lot since then, and I've done a lot since then. Different things but they all pile up. And I know-"

"But?"

"If I stopped, would every death be one I could have prevented? And don't look at me like that. I know that's not on me. But it doesn't even need to be disputed if I never stop."

He paused, closed his eyes and took a breath. "But the truth is... I haven't lived enough. I havent lived a life. I haven't been to a baseball game. I haven't traveled outside of work. I've never seen the grand canyon, or mount Rushmore. I haven't stopped enough to know if I even could. You deserve more, so much more. Someone who can give you that life. Someone who's not afraid to stop doing the only thing he knows, the only thing he's ever known...

"I've never been on a vacation before. I'd like to take you on one someday. But I don't know how I could. Never been. Not a one. We were too poor growing up. It was the great depression. Hard times. Starvation, clothes that didn't fit, and mom always working."

"You don't talk about her much."

"It was a long time ago when she died. She was the best mom I could ever ask for. She hummed when she cooked, smelled like lavender. She liked daisies, those were her favorite. Said my dad would always bring them to her when he could. So I started bringing them when I got older, and when she got sick. They brought a smile to her face. Her smile..." he went soft.

She nudged him gently, beckoning him to continue. She liked to hear him talk about his mother, and anything about his past. "What was your father like? Did you know?"

"He died in the great war. I think I told you. A few months before I was born."

Natasha nodded, and he continued.

"Stories about him from mom were always so sweet and full of life. They were the stories that I loved most in all the world. She was good at telling stories. And she really loved him, always said he was a good man, a good husband. He was an Irish catholic, mom was a Protestant."

Steve smiled. "But that was never a problem. She took me to mass a few times, for him. I use to have one of his rosaries, back when I was a kid... He sung Irish folk songs he had known from his mother, my mom tried to remember those. She said he had the sweetest singing voice. So she always tried to get me to sing."

Steve looked at Natasha, her eyes were so invested in every word he spoke. He realized that his family was now her family, and she was meeting them for the first time. "Nat. Gosh, I'm sorry I haven't brought them up before..."

"Don't apologize, it's okay. Just keep going. Your father and mother. What were their names?"

"Joseph and Sarah. He uh- He loved baseball. Died a soldier. So that's frankly all I wanted to do. Love baseball and join the army. The 107th, same as him. Even before there was a war, it's all I wanted to do.

"Mom said I was a lot like him. So that was enough for me. Not till after she died did I start to wonder how I was like her. In the little things, you know. She was a kind woman and she taught me how to be a good person to others. I think I got my love of art from her too. She painted when she was younger, wanted to go to art school...

"There was an unfinished painting of my dad in her room. I'd always sneak in there and look at it. I'd uncover the canvas covering, and peer into my fathers eyes. It was unfinished, but it was so detailed, honest, and my favorite picture that had ever been painted. Still is. But paint got too expensive, so she could never finish it. But still, she would draw all the time. Same as me."

Natasha smiled fondly at memories of him drawing on napkins, and on his notes when he'd stopped listening to briefings, the easel in his room, the countless drawings he had now put into the sketchbook she had gotten him. She looked at him with an expression asking him why he stopped for a while, back before.

He shrugged. "I got too busy. Avenging, fighting, going on the run. And I didn't have a sketchpad back then." He smiled down at her. Glad that she had always understood that part of him. The artist.

Natasha cleared her throat. "Back when I was growing up we were forced to kill people with bags covering their heads. They didn't force us to shoot them, but we knew that if we failed in anything... there'd be consequences. Anyway, I remember one summer they brought in an actor to entertain us. Seemed normal enough, and he was a kind man. I later found him again, after I uncovered the face of the person they had me shoot in the head."

"How old were you?"

"Ten."

"Oh, Nat..."

She shook her head. "No, it all happened a long time ago. I'm past it."

"But that was still you. You had to go through all that."

"I did. But I came out stronger for it. Despite whatever they put me through, it made me stronger, and it made me who I am today." She looked to the floor. "I never knew my parents, or anything about them. Other than they were Russian, from Russia, and they died in Russia. I never knew if they gave me to the Red Room, or if I was taken. I didn't know what they were like, how they met, or if I inherited any of their traits. But I have a feeling they looked something like me." She smiled a solemn smile, and Steve's heart broke for her. "Everything I knew growing up I learned from the Red Room. All the songs I learned, every story I heard, and all the lessons I went through, every lie I was trained to perfect. Everything..." she let a single tear trickle down her face.

Steve brushed his thumb over her cheek, not letting the tear travel any further. He wrapped his arms tightly around her again, enveloping her in an embrace of love and support.

"It's nice. What you have. You have names and memories. Who you are today is a testament to who they were. You're parents, they'd be proud. Since you have that, you should keep it. Hold tight to it, and never let it go."

"I will."

He kissed her forehead and they stayed there resting in the silence, for the next few hours. Then they went back to work.


	4. Edinburgh

Good people often times find themselves in horrible situations. It's quite sad really, when you see the amount of turmoil good people go through. Some blame this on God, and others blame themselves. Steve Rogers always chose the later. He never blamed God. He always thought that God was the one who gave him the grace to become a good person in the first place. Steve believed people blamed God because they thought that they understood him and how he worked.

Captain America always chose to blame himself. For the situation he would find himself in, and the danger he found his friends in. Even if it was the most preposterous thing for him to do. He never wanted to place the blame on anyone else.

Steve sat in the back of the Quinjet looking down at his worn gloves. They had been with him and his suit for the past year and a half. A year and a half of mistakes, mishaps, broken friendships, exile, and disconnection from a life he had grown use to. All his fault.

He looked up to find green eyes glued to him, studying him. Natasha, his wife. Also his fault.

"You're thinking too loudly." Her smile was sympathetic as she was leaning towards him. She seemed surprisingly relaxed. It was almost contagious. Almost.

"I'm sorry, Nat."

She took his worn gloves in her hands and she squeezed them. Trying to will him to relax. If just a little. They had been searching for over 100 hours.

Wanda was nowhere to be found. She was a perfect shadow. Untraceable. She had been trained well. If they weren't the ones trying to find her, Natasha would have said she was proud. Which she was.

He averted his eyes from her again, taking his hands back and onto his own lap. Steve sighed as he looked back down at his gloves.

Natasha sat back, giving up. Sometimes she just couldn't reach him, or ease his mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help take the weight of the world off his shoulders.

"We'll find her. You know we will."

"I don't doubt we'll find her. I'm afraid of what else we'll find when we do."

To that, she had no reply.

"Cap. I'm getting a report." Sam looked over to him. "Edinburgh of all places. It's not much, but it's supernatural for sure."

"That's her. Let's go."

As they neared the location, Sam started getting some strange reports. "I don't know about this Cap. I don't like it."

"Steve." Natasha brought his attention to a news station she has pulled up. The headline read; Tony Stark vanishes after scrimmage against another alien attack.

"There was a ship tormenting New York a few hours ago. It's gone now. As is Stark. This isn't looking good."

The Quinjet touched down to a silent, eerie Edinburgh night. Sam's specs showed that they were close to the reports of something similar to Wanda's power signature.

Sam and Natasha both looked to their captain. He was silently looking out of the cockpit window. "Alright. Let's go. We'll deal with whatever else when we've got Wanda."

Steve pounded the hanger door open. "Sam, make a perimeter, then back up mine and nat's position."

Sam swooped into the air and released his falcon to fly alongside him.

Natasha made her way out of the jet towards the transit station. Steve stopped her with his arm.

"Natasha."

She looked up at him. She feared there was something more that he didn't even want Sam knowing about. Was he really that worried about the mission? Or was he worried about something else?

"What is it?"

Steve pulled Natasha in for a brief kiss. "I love you." He could tell that he had caught her off guard. "That's it."

She smirked up at him, weary eyes and all. She was able to get a small smile in return as they raced down the ramp and on towards their mission.

They found Wanda. Just in the nick of time. She was guarding a injured Vision against two very powerful extraterrestrials. They had all intervened at Steve's signal, and they bested the two beings. Though it wasn't easy.

Wanda mumbled some displeasure about letting their attackers escape. To this Steve said that killing off whatever they faced wasn't their mission. Finding her was.

It was a grueling walk back into the quintet. The silence was suffocating Wanda. Especially when Natasha pointed out the rules that she broke. "Stay close, check in, don't take any chances."

"I'm sorry. We just wanted time." Wanda glanced at Vision.

Natasha and Steve understood what they meant. But they daren't say anything. Steve felt partially to blame. Pursuing his relationship with Natasha all the while Wanda was suffering not being able to spend time with the one she loved. How had he not seen it before. He knew they were close, and that they had a special relationship... But he didn't see this. It wasn't an android and a human that he was shocked about. It was Vision, and Wanda. The two people he trusted and had worked with. Wanda, who he thought trusted him. If she had said something to him, maybe they'd have tried to help. Maybe things could've turned out differently.

Steve watched Wanda help Vision sit down amid grunts of pain and discomfort. Wanda held tight to him, as if she would never let go.

Natasha gave Steve a warning look. She could tell he was thinking everything over and somehow finding a way to blame himself. We'll atone for our sins another time, there are more pressing issues at hand, she thought. "It's not your fault" also played on repeat in her eyes as she looked into his. It only took a brief second for the transmission to be sent.

The already strapped in pilot, turned back towards them. "Where to, Cap?"

Steve look at Sam. "Home."


	5. Old Memories, New Problems

Natasha couldn't quite describe what it was like to be back. The Avengers facility she called home for far longer than she had ever called any place by that name. It wasn't just the place, but the people she had shared it with. They were an unconventional team that inevitably became a family unit.

Memories flooded in. Her sitting on the kitchen island late at night thinking of her past, and of Bruce. Steve showing up with two warm cups of Joe and his soothing presence. Them talking or merely sitting beside each other until sunrise. Laughs during team dinners. Sam and Wanda collaborating on pranks. Her and Steve's productive training sessions with the team. Vision reading Tolkien aloud to Wanda, and asking questions about humanity's love of fiction. Seeing Steve's back hunched over his easel trying to paint the sunrise. Her morning runs with Sam trying and failing to catch up with Steve. Wanda and Steve humming the same tune together during briefings. Tony's infrequent visits ringing in new ideas and improved gadgets.

The days when Natasha would try to hide that she missed Steve when he would go to visit Peggy. The months she spent spending time with Wanda, teaching her, and learning from her. Getting back safe after being out on a long mission. Feeling relaxed and at ease. Feeling at home.

They sped past all the rooms they use to frequent. It was strange really.

Friday was directing them to Rhodey. They all found it striking that Tony left them all authorization to access Friday. It was as if some time and struggles hadn't happened.

Natasha paused a moment as they past the living room. The room struck a chord, and brought back a fond memory. Looking back on it, it was a memory that had lead to the possibility of other memories.

It was a particular moment, a few days before Lagos. Before the turning point.

"Steve."

"Mhm?"

It was another of their late night movie watching on a shared couch.

She looked at Steve; his eyes were engrossed in the screen. Tonight had been her turn to pick the movie. It surprised her how much Steve had fallen in love with "Welcome to America". It was an 80s comedy staring Edie Murphy, making fun of American society at that time.

He always loved watching movies set in the decades he missed. She caught herself smiling at him.

"Wait." He reached over and grabbed the remote, turning off the TV. She had said his name in an all too familiar tone. He re-positioned himself to give his full attention to her.

They both knew he wasn't good at multitasking when it came to movies. "What's up Nat?"

She shook her, he was too good to her.

"I uh... I never believed it would work. When Clint told me I could hang up the life of an accomplished assassin for the life of doing good for others. I never believe it, but I wanted to. That's why I took the deal. I wanted so badly to be good, and to atone for everything. Though I really believed I'd never be able to. And even after SHIELD, and the Avengers, I still wasn't sure. Too much red in my ledger..."

Steve reached out and placed a comforting hand on her knee. His eyes were steady, giving her all the confidence and strength in the world.

"But now, being here, doing this..." She gestured around her, to the facility, the young team they were training, the family they were forming. She shook away some of the tears that were trying to creep out. "...working with you again. I've begun to actually believe that someone can change. I believe that someone can hang it all up and become a good person." She tentatively pick up his hand. She looked at it, squeezed it, and smiled. "You've helped me a lot with that Steve. I wanted to thank you. You've always seen the good in me. You've always looked out for me. Even when you didn't know me at all."

He smiled back at her. His blue eyes sparkled with pride. He was so proud. When they started their training endeavor, she had been so put together in front of the new team, but she was so broken inside. Soon after, they formed a close bond. It was even stronger than what they had before. Natasha began to share more of herself with him, and they helped each other deal with their nightmares and the visions from Wanda. He also helped her heal after Bruce. He never would know just how much the five words he once spoke meant to her; "Natasha, you're not a monster".

Now she seemed strong and sure of herself. She knew who she was and what she wanted. He hadn't admired her more than at that moment.

"There's no need to thank me for what you've done. You've found the truth, I didn't make it that. You believe the truth, and the truth has set you free."

She looked at him with admiration. For her, he was the embodiment of truth and goodness in the world. If he had believed in her, had trusted her, she was doing something right.

"For a man who won't take credit for anything, would you be prideful for one damn minute and let me thank you. Someone ought to thank you for all you've done for this world. Might as well be me. And you better be sure to say 'you're welcome'." She raised her eyebrows.

Steve put his hands up in defeat. "Yes ma'am."

Natasha tugged on his shirt, leaned over, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Steve." She whispered into his ear.

Her breath was warm and her hair smelled as sweet as vanilla. But what surprised him was her voice. It was softer and more genuine than he had ever heard it before. He wanted to keep her there, close to him, listening to her speak. But he quickly shook those thoughts out of his mind.

"You're welcome." He managed to get out as she pulled away. Her hand clinging to the shirt on his chest a rare distraction. She let go of his shirt and smoothed over the wrinkle she made.

"What are friends for?" He said and immediately wanted to take it back. He noticed a nerve on her forehead tighten, and a part of her tenderness faded away. He wouldn't have noticed it had he not known her so well. His words had warranted a reaction that he didn't intend. He tried to reel back.

"And I'll always look out for you, Natasha. No matter what. I ought to thank you too. Just talking with you, like this. You being so open, and me getting to just listen. I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have you in my life.

The work we're doing, the movies we're watching. I'm grateful for it all. I never thought crashing a plane in the Atlantic would land me here. So thank you."

He lightly pulled on the hand that was still holding his. He brought her face close to his, and he planted a kiss on her forehead.

There was sincerity and love in his eyes. She wanted to bail, to run. She had never felt the way she did at that moment. Under his gaze she was so vulnerable, but so was he. Their friendship was so important to them, they wouldn't dare jeopardize it for mere butterflies. Yet, this was the first time Natasha had accepted those butterflies, knowing full well the cause. But the cause was such a beautiful person. In the past she professed that he deserved so much better than her. So she would try to set him up with other girls. But now, she had begun to view herself in a different light.

Steve understood that their relationship might head into uncharted waters if they weren't careful. Change was something he had grown accustomed to, yet he didn't like it. He wanted to keep Natasha at his side, no matter what. The possibility of losing their friendship wasn't something he wanted to entertain. But, he had begun to imagine the impossible. It was silly really. He had begun to imagine a life after all of this, and Natasha was in it. She fulfilled a different role in his life in these dreams. Yet chasing these fantasies could ruin the wonderful thing they already had.

That sat, looking into each other's eyes for a little too long. Steve's hand was still holding Natasha's. Both of them were comfortable in this moment. Perhaps too comfortable.

"Wanna finish your movie?" She broke eye contact to look at the TV. He shook his head, and hesitantly slid his hand out from under her grasp.

"Yeah. Let's do it."

That memory faded away as she began to hear familiar voices. It was Rhodey and Secretary Ross. For a second Natasha feared that they were going to be caught. After two years on the run they were going to be taken in and branded traitors. At least they wouldn't have to run anymore.

"Mr. Secretary." Steve addressed the hologram.

"You have some real nerve. I'll give you that."

"You could use some of that right now." Natasha responded without missing a beat.

"The world's on fire, and you think all is forgiven?" Distain was the look that played on Ross' face.

"I'm not looking for forgiveness, and I'm way past asking permission."

Steve's words cut her like a knife in the chest. He had become a much harder man.

"Earth just lost her best defender. So we're here to fight. And if you want to stand in our way... we'll fight you too."

Ross turned to Rhodey "Arrest them."

"All over it." He shut down the hologram. "That's a court marshal."

Steve looked to Rhodey, unsure of what would happen next. Like he said, he was past asking for forgiveness. But he was so sorry for all that had happened. Rhodey getting injured was not at all what he had wanted.

"It's great to see you Cap." Rhodey smiled.

Steve smiled back, and went in for a sincere hand shake. It was what Natasha always called the "masculine" hug. "You too Rhodey."

"Hey." Natasha went in for the hug.

"You guys... really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of years."

"Yeah, well the hotels weren't exactly five star." Sam smiled.

"Ah, I think you look great." To the surprise of everyone, Bruce stepped out from behind the shadows in the corner of the room. "Uh... Yeah I'm back."

"Hi Bruce." Natasha just took in the sight of him. He was disheveled looking, and his face betrayed him. He was anxious, and a little frightened. But Natasha knew she wasn't the reason. Something bigger was going on.

Steve just watched her and Bruce. He didn't want to speak to the man. He had grown cold towards the man for all the hurt he had caused Natasha. He still loved Banner as a friend. But somethings can never be undone, and feelings can change. Steve had a mind to say some choice words, but now wasn't the time. He was, after all, already married to the woman he loved. Nothing, not even a hulk could get in the way of that.

"This is awkward..." Sam's words rang truer than true, and almost seemed like an understatement.


	6. Wheels Up and Crashing

Time seemed to speed up about a hundred paces. Things were happening too quickly. Steve could keep up, but he didn't want to. He was just so tired of running and of fighting.

What Bruce had told them about Thanos was frightening to say the least. The decision that he had seen Vision make, and ask Wanda to make was heartbreaking. He just couldn't bare to see his team continuously get ripped to shreds.

"We don't trade lives, Vision." He said it and meant it.

Steve had to save his team. He couldn't let Wanda be the one to cause the death of the man she loved. So he figured Wakanda was the best chance they had. And it was. Shuri would be able to help. At the very least, Wakanda was strongly fortified and a good vantage point if a battle came.

"I know a place." Right after he had said it, everyone else hopped behind him. Still a trusted leader, he thought. If he had the time to dwell on it, he might've found it puzzling.

"Time to load up. Can we get wheels up in 15 Sam?"

"I can make that 10." Sam was already on his way to the quinnjet.

Steve smiled Sam's way. "You heard the man."

He turned to Rhodey. "Should that be enough time for you to load up your suit?"

"Yeah. Should be."

Steve nodded a thanks, then turned towards Banner. He wanted to talk to Bruce privately, if just for a second. He intended to give Bruce a piece of his mind. But Natasha stopped him just sky of his target.

"Easy there soldier." She smirked up at him. "I'd like to talk to him first. If you don't mind. I'd like to be the one to tell him about us."

Steve hesitated a second before giving in. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. And hey, this isn't the right time for this... but just hear me out. This could be really great us. If we complete this mission and save the world again, like we always do. Who know's we might get a pardon. We might not have to run anymore. Living somewhere for longer than 74 hours sounds mighty appealing. Maybe even New York." She gave him her crooked smile. In that he saw something he had never seen before. Hope.

There was hope in her eyes, that said she believed there was a future. A white picket fence after hanging up the guns. Settling down. She was ready, and she wanted it now. If she could get it.

Was that something he could give her? Heavens knew he wanted to. Did he believe that it was going to be as simple as that? No, he didn't. The world needed saving. No matter the cost.

Steve tried to smile back at her. He shook his head. "That'd be great Nat."

He knew she didn't believe his words. They were unconvincing.

"We gotta save the world first." He added, trying to justify his lack of enthusiasm. He honestly couldn't dare to hope that big. He just wasn't capable of thinking on anything besides the mission at hand.

"I know." Her eyes telling him much more than she could have said in words. She squeezed his hand before turning away.

She walked over to Bruce. Dr. Banner nervously fidgeted with his hands and torn sleeves. They did begin to talk about something serious however. Bruce made eye contact with Steve for a spell, before Steve realized he shouldn't have been staring. He made his way towards the jet soon after. Though he shouldn't have felt it, it stung to have seen Bruce and Natasha alone together. But he really couldn't deal with that right now. He had a world to save.

But what was he saving it for? He looked down at his hands. His fingers had subconsciously begun fidgeting with the wedding ring under his glove.

He took of the glove to get a better look at the old thing. He smiled. That's right, what he was fighting for. Love.

He was transported back to the jewelers shop they had gotten their rings at. It was in Poland on a cold November night. The nice fellow at the counter helped them get their rings picked and fitted.

"Silver. Strong enough to stand the test of time." The jeweler has said with an old smile. He was complimenting their choice of metal. He had said all this in Polish, which Natasha easily translated back to Steve.

"You sure this is what you want?" Steve was referring to her ring. It was a plain silver band. There was no stone on it.

"Yes. More than anything." She let that sink in. "And besides, Steve Rogers you're too damn poor to afford anything else."

He was about to raise an argument, but found he could not.

Steve was jolted back to reality as the team filed into the jet. The wheels were up exactly 10 minutes after Sam had said they would be. The man was like clock work.

Bruce and Natasha were the last to board. They exchanged an innocent smile as they walked up the ramp. Then the went to opposite sides of the hull. Natasha brushed her hand against Steve's as she slid past. She flashed him a quick smile before she took her seat. It was was a reassurance that everything was good. A reassurance he didn't need, but was glad Natasha gave him. Her caught himself admiring her consideration and thoughtfulness.

No mission was ever too important to keep him from admiring qualities in his wife.

Another particular memory happened to come to Steve's mind at that moment. It was the night that has started it all. They had come crashing into each other for the first time.

She was fuming, he was furious. They had bickered like children in the jet. When they finally got to the safe house. Sam and Wanda made a run for it. Their arguments had never gotten this heated in the past. So they left the two team leaders to their debate.

Steve slammed the door shut behind him, just as the tension reached a boiling point.

"I can't even believe you Rogers! What the hell were you thinking?"

The use of his surname added another gallon of fuel to the fire.

"What was I thinking? What the hell were you thinking Natasha?!"

The mission hadn't gone as planned. Too many things went wrong, too many mistakes were made. Both of of them had come close to biting it.

"Don't you make this about what I did! You were distracted the entire mission. Stuck in your own headspace. Things felt off. We went through with it regardless. Following your lead, might I add. Then you had to go and pull a stunt like that! As if it wasn't bad enough!"

"You don't think I knew how close to the line we were stepping? This was our only chance at taking these guys down. It was my call, and I made it. What you did was not your call. I gave an order. You disobeyed it."

She scoffed and lifted her hands in the air. "I made a judgment call. With the team at mind. You know that. It was the right thing to do. Which you interfered with."

"With the team at mind? You're full of it Romanoff! I saw what you did. You made a reckless move, once again trying to sacrifice yourself unnecessarily. The team at mind? This team needs you more than it needs a martyr." His words bit her more than her widow's bite.

She had a mind to slap him, but stopped just shy. Now their faces were closer than ever

"A martyr? Look who's talking! You jumping in risking everything, risking the mission. And for my sake. Yeah sure, the team at mind!"

"Sure I put the mission at risk. But I didn't risk everything! You did that. Natasha you're worth more than a mission. Any mission!"

"Would you just quite it, Rogers?! You don't understand-"

"When will you get it to your head? When will you understand that you've nothing to prove Natasha. To any of us! We trust and have full confidence in you. In my book your ledger is clean."

Natasha looked to the ground. She went silent. Steve immediately stopped. He took in the sight of her, confused.

"That's what you think this is about?" She sighed.

"Nat, I-"

"Steve," She looked up at him, "that's not why I'm upset. I know you trust me."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Then what have we been fighting about?"

Natasha's green eyes pinned him down. They begged a question. "We've worked together too long Steve. This has never happened before..."

"What do you mean? I-" He went silent too. He was beginning to decipher what was being said.

"Steve, you've never had a problem with my making a call before. You jump in and help when you can. But that," she reached out and touched his arm, concern filling her voice. "that was reckless."

Steve swallowed hard. He avoided eye contact.

"Steve, now don't you lie to me. You be honest. What's wrong?" She was desperately afraid that he was beginning to break. Being on the run for so long. No matter who you are it changes you. She knew that.

He took in a deep breath, and began to speak slower. Each word was a delicately placed tile in a tapestry; and he was an artist with a meticulous eye. "I know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, Nat. I just wanted to be sure."

"Be sure of what?"

"That you were safe. I didn't want to risk losing you."

She shook her head. She thought she understood. "You've lost a lot of people Steve. But I'm fine, I can take care of myself. You don't need to worry. I'm here, I'll always be here. And you'll always be there. Just so long as you don't go pulling more stunts like this."

"No. Now it's you that doesn't understand. You're right. This has never been a problem in the past. The only thing that's different about our past missions and this one is that- It's that now I've accepted the fact that I love you so much I'd die to keep you safe."

Her eyes widened at the words he spoke.

"And not just the brotherly love I've always felt for you. It's deeper than that. I want what's best for you, more than I want anything for myself. And you're like an extensions of my mind, my limbs, myself. I can't imagine you not by my side. Nat, you're the right partner for me. I don't ever want to lose you. And I may be reckless at times trying to show that. It's just become clear that I want to find out where we can go from here. What could be is an image too strong to resist. And I'm not asking you for anything. You know me. I just- It's high time that I started being honest with myself and with you."

She didn't speak for a minute. Steve swore his heart didn't beat for those 60 seconds.

"And here I thought you said that you're always honest." she gave him her familiar smirk that was most commonly used for flirting.

"I guess someone's been rubbing off on me." He smiled hesitantly, still unsure of her reaction.

Natasha grabbed his leather shoulder harnesses, and pushed him against the wall. Her eyes sparkled with a rare mixture of intensity and sincerity. Before another word could be spoken their faces crashed together. It was a tangled mess of hands in hair, lips locked, heart beats quickening, and body temperatures rising.

When they pulled apart both of them were left gasping for air.

The intensity and passion of the moment was near overpowering. A few seconds of silence followed. Then they broke out into laughter. Pure joy was plastered on both their faces. They couldn't believe what they had just done; but were both so glad that it had happened.

"I think it might go without saying, but I'd like to see where this goes too."

He took her hand, a radiant smile on his face.

She bit her upper lip, unsure about something. Then she made up her mind and tugged him towards the lone bed in the room. She lured him into one of her intoxicating kisses. They neared the mattress.

But Steve pulled back. "No." He whispered softly. But his answer was firm.

She looked at him, confused. He just shook his head. "Not like this, Natasha. Not like this." His words were spoken soothingly, his thumb affectionately caressing her hand.

He let go of her as they sat on the bed, shoulder to shoulder.

"I'm sorry..."

Steve smiled. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Nat, I don't think I've made my intentions clear. I want to take care of you."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Hear me out, if the only thing that changes in our relationship from here on out is sex, than I'm doing something wrong. Bedding you is not the point of our relationship. You're so much more than that to me. So much more than what you think you are. Let me show you that. I don't know how things have been for you in the past, but where I'm from a gentlemen treats a lady a certain way. Respects her. I'm going to do things the right way. And maybe that's not the way they do it now. But it's how I'm going to do it."

She shook her head, a strange smile on her face. Steve was still unpredictable as ever. He could be so damn charming when he tried.

"Will you let me take you to dinner?"

She smiled, a little surprised. "Yes, yes you can."

"Great. How's tomorrow night for you? Say, seven o'clock?"

Natasha shook her head. "I'll have to check with my boss, not sure where we'll be or if I can get it off."

He playfully nudged her. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Steve, are you sure you know who you're getting involved with?"

"Natalia Alianovna,"

She froze as he used her birth name.

"I know exactly who I'm giving my heart to. The only woman in the world worthy enough to have it."

A comfortable silence followed. They were both smiling like giddy children, just soaking in each other's presence. Excitement filling them both.

"I'd like to ask permission to hold your hand now."

Natasha snatched his hand into her's. She looked him dead in the eye. "Don't you ever ask permission to hold my hand again. You understand?"

"Yes ma'am." He swooped up her other hand and kissed it.

Neither of them could believe what they had just begun. It was as if they had finally caught a break. They had just struck gold. Though it was a long time coming. It was now clear that this was something they had both been longing for.

"Hey," Steve had his mischievous grin on as he played with her fingers. "let's see how long we can keep this from the rest of the team."

"Challenge excepted."

They stood. Steve stopped them as they reached the door.

"Goodness Rogers, you do not have to ask permission to kiss me either."

Steve snickered. "I wasn't going to ask." He pulled her in tenderly for a long kiss. It was more than satisfactory for the both of them. It felt so natural, which wasn't all that surprising. Their lips worked well together, just like they did.

This time Natasha was the one to pull away. She sighed a smile. "Good." She meant it. "Now let the games begin." Natasha kicked the door open. "And you're insufferable Steve!" She shouted back at him.

"Nat! What are you-"

"I don't want to hear another word out of you! And don't try to come find me!" She kicked open the front door and stomped off, just as Sam and Wanda returned.

Four eyes looked accusingly at Steve as he stood in the doorway watching after Natasha.

"What?"

Sam and Wanda ignored him for the next 24 hours.


	7. Confronting the Past and Near Future

"Bruce." Natasha slowly neared her old friend. The team had just made the decision to pack things up and head to Wakanda. It was Vision's best chance, and evidently the world's best chance.

Bruce was fidgeting with his hands and trying to conjure words. "Nat... I wa- Hi."

"We've already gone through that."

"Right, right... How are you?"

Natasha sighed, tilted her head as if to think the question over. "Oh, me? I've been better. Had a rough couple of years, but a good one too. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

She was teasing him; trying to lighten the mood.

"Ha. Yeah. It has been a while. About that..."

She sighed. "Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I'm glad to see you. Truly. You have no idea how worried I was about you."

Bruce's eyes lit up. He looked like he had been given the hope he needed for the coming conflict.

"But..." She began.

That hope dashed suddenly from his eyes. "But? Nat, please know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it all. So sorry. I would've contacted you, or called. The other guy..."

"No. Stop. It's been over three years Bruce. I'd kinda stopped worrying." She didn't want to be harsh. But there was no way around it. She shook her head in his direction.

"You've... you've moved on." Bruce shook his head, trying to play the understanding ex. He thought he was an ex, an ex-something at the very least.

"Yes, but this isn't about that Bruce. This is about you and me."

"Well. Nat, I-" In that moment he locked eyes with Steve from across the room. Bruce was shocked and confused to say the least. Steve looked at him in a way he hadn't ever seen that man look at anyone. Though people do change, it had been over three years. The man had also been on the run for two of those years. That sort of lifestyle changes you. Bruce knew that.

It was then that realization struck him. Who Steve had been on the run with for 2 of the years he was gone. He turned back to Natasha. A solid suspicion settled in his mind.

"Bruce, I don't want to dig up painful memories. I was quite forward in our short..." she paused, "time spent together. I piled a lot on you very quickly. And looking back on it, it might not have been for the right reasons. I was feeling pretty desperate and confused at the time. You were too if I remember correctly."

Bruce shook his head.

"We found kindred spirits in each other. We were already friends, and you have many attractive qualities. But..." she struggled to find the word she was looking for.

"But I left you. Nat, I'm-"

"I don't want to hear another sorry out of you again. What we had, it was... it was what it was. You weren't ready. I suppose neither was I. But I do believe what happened was for the best. We both came out better for it." She shook her head, believing the words she spoke.

She sounded so sure of herself, that she caught Bruce staring. She was stronger and perhaps wiser than he had remembered. Time tended to change people, but never Bruce Banner. Natasha thought he was the exact same.

"Bruce, I was hoping we'd be able to salvage our friendship from all of this. Start fresh. You know me, I always appreciate a clean slate."

"I'd like nothing more." He smiled.

Natasha smiled back. She hesitated a second, but leaned over and chastely kissed his cheek. The kiss sealed up the past. They both knew it.

"So, space?" She was genuinely curious to hear of his adventures with Thor.

Bruce just smiled. "I'll tell you all about it sometime. We should probably be heading out." He motioned them forward unto the ship.

"So, Steve?"

Natasha caught herself smiling at the mention of her beloved's name. "Yes, Steve." She replied, confirming Bruce's suspicion.

He opened his mouth to say something. It took him a second to fish something out. "That's great. Steve... Steve is, Steve's a great guy." That last part he meant honestly.

"That he is." She added.

"Are you, are you happy?"

Natasha didn't have to ponder that question for a second. Despite the tough times she was the happiest she had ever been. She slipped off her left glove and held her wedding ring out for him to see. "Very."

"Wow... Nat-"

She could've laughed at the conflicting facial expressions he was making. Though eventually he was able to give her a genuine smile. Despite it looking a tinge painful. "Nat, I'm happy for you. I really am."

"Thank you Bruce. That means a lot coming from you."

Silence fell. They neared the jet.

"Hey I uh, never thought you were into blonds. I always thought you made a move on me because of my dark locks." He ran a hand through his hair, with a hilarious expression on his face.

She smiled, glad to see him joking again. One of his more attractive qualities.

"For the record, it was Steve who made the first move." She recalled.

"Ah, really?" Bruce squinted, trying to imagine the Steve he knew walking up to Natasha, or any girl for that matter, and making a move. "I'd like to hear that story."

"No. You really wouldn't."

His face turned a color. Not green, but bright red. "No. I don't think I would." He agreed.

They both smiled as they walked up the ramp. If times had been better, they would've have walked up that ramp laughing. Just two old friends, sharing a laugh.

She walked past Steve to her seat. She brushed her hand quickly against his, and gave him a small smile.

If there weren't prying eyes she would have taken his hand and stood there with him. She wished she could rest her head on his shoulder and hold him close. He looked like he was in need of it. But the message she needed to give to him was sent, and he had received it.

He looked tired. Though her mere presence was enough to ease him, if just the slightest. He seemed to be in a daze of sorts. He was looking at nothing, but Natasha knew he was thinking of everything. He had probably gone through every potential outcome of the coming conflict.

After they were well on their way, Natasha went over to Wanda and Vision. They were huddled together near the rear of the hull. An argument was passing between their lips. Though their disagreement was spoken in whispers.

"Wanda, no." Vision replied softly.

They stopped. They looked up at Natasha as she approached. She plopped herself on the ground next to them.

"Hey."

"Natasha, I..."

"Zip it Vision." Natasha quipped. She still felt protective of Wanda, and in effect blamed him for their near demise at Edinburgh.

He looked like he was ready to combat her with an array of words on how he found the term 'zip' inappropriate. Wanda placed an affectionate hand on his arm, warranting silence. He looked at Wanda and nodded the slightest.

Natasha found that silent exchange between them striking. It was often times how she and Steve communicated. Perhaps this relationship wasn't as doomed as she had predicted.

"What is it?" Wanda tilted her head the slightest. This slight tilt of her head to the left meant that she felt threatened. Her tone conveyed no trace of this. But Natasha recognized it. Despite Wanda not realizing she had done it.

That slight mistrust hurt Natasha more than it shocked her. The girl had been through a lot, and Natasha hadn't been exactly supportive of her new relationship.

Natasha let out a sigh. "I just wanted to be sure you were both okay. With what's been going on and what's about to happen. I don't know, it all seems cruel tthat it's the two of you who were dealt the bad hand."

Vision was slightly taken aback by her words. He hadn't experienced this side of Natasha. The nurturing and kind hearted side. Not fully. He couldn't comprehend how some people changed. But then he came to the human conclusion that it was Steve's influence on her. That human thing called love, that he was only beginning to understand.

Vision had always recognized and respected the good Steve was able to bring out of people. He had missed Steve's presence the past few years. Though he dared not mention that to Tony.

"Thank you Natasha. I believe we are as well as we are able to be. This situation is not an easy one. But there is hope."

Natasha nodded her head at his words. She was confident that they would win this battle. They had to. But Wanda didn't look as though she shared that sentiment.

"Wanda?" Natasha spoke her name with the tenderness of a sister. They had become like sisters, with all the good and the bad that entailed.

"I'm sorry, Natasha I... I don't know how to answer that. I'm not okay. None of this is okay. I can only hope for the very best. Yet, I must prepare myself to do the absolute worst anyone could ever ask of me."

Vision took her hand. "But Wanda, it's me that's asking."

She freed her hand from his grasp, and turned away.

"Let's hope that it never comes to that." Natasha leaned over and placed something into Wanda's hands. She gave Wanda a look of solidarity, as she placed a hand on her shoulder. Then she walked back over to the cockpit.

Wanda looked down and found a small Chotki in her hands. They were a type of Russian prayer beads. This was the same Chotki Wanda had found and gifted to Natasha in Kazakhstan. She had stumbled upon a cart selling them outside of a busy church on a supply run. She given it to Natasha when she was feeling anxious being so close to Russia. Natasha then shocked Wanda, and proceeded to show her how one would use the prayer beads.

"The Red Room taught us all about religion. Especially how to use it for our own means. If you know the prayers, you're just like everyone else. And if you can have a heartfelt conversation about your faith in christianity, people tend to see you as less of a threat. 'turn the other cheek' and all. The Red Room, of course, found a twisted use in that. So I do remember the prayers. Here, let me teach you."

Wanda distinctly remembered what Natasha said when she asked about her own beliefs.

Natasha had nearly scoffed, and then shook her head. "When I was a child I was told not to believe in anything other than the Red Room and the motherland. When I got older the world told me that any type of belief was irrelevant. But now, I'm tuned into 'old fashioned' beliefs. It may be Steve's influence, or just me finally coming to terms with some things. There just has to be something out there beyond all of us. Despite the chaos, there's a whole lot of good. If there wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have gotten a second chance. I might still be killing, lying, and seducing. Or dead in a ditch..." she paused a second. "But if there was hope for me, maybe there's hope for this world too. Now here, let me show you how to use these..."

Wanda rolled the beads in her fingers. It was a touching gift attached to a fond memory. She slid it into her pocket. Hope.

"Wanda, this will work." Vision assured here, caressing the stone on his head. "But if it doesn't..." There was a plea in his eyes.

"I know." She finally said it. "I know what must be done." Her eyes burned with seriousness and a bit of hope. She didn't think it would come to killing Vision. However, Wanda knew that she had to be prepared to put the world first. She wouldn't do it for the world. She would do it because he had asked her to.


	8. Reunions and Questions

Wakanda was as beautiful as the day he had first laid eyes on it. The beauty of the country made him forget the heat.

He was glad to be back. Not only to see T'Challa and his kingdom, who welcomed him back with open arms. But to see his best friend, whom he loved as his brother. Bucky.

Steve had worried. He didn't know if they were able to properly treat Bucky and his tangled mind. But his doubts soon fled when they walked down the ramp. T'Challa greeted them with a warm welcome and an ensemble.

"It seems I'm always asking you for a favor." Steve shook the king's hand. He stood just as dignified as the leader of the African nation. They shared a solemn smile.

Then came Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes wore a simile along with his long hair. It had grown even longer since last they met.

It took Natasha a second to recognize that it was Bucky who walked up to Steve to embrace him.

"It's good to see you Buck." Steve smiled. He was overjoyed, but tried to contain his excitement. There were larger things at play. But he savored the reunion.

"You remember Nat." Steve turned to Natasha.

Bucky smiled. "Yeah I do. I sure am sorry. For everything." He went to shake Natasha's hand, but she went for a hug. This surprised him.

"You know, it's good to finally see you without sitting on your shoulders and trying to strangle you."

"It's nice to not have to be trying to kill you too." Bucky chuckled.

Every time they had met in the past they were engaged in a brutal fight. She had alway met the winter soldier, and this was her first time she was meeting James Barnes.

"Yeah. And thanks by the way. What you did for us at the airport..."

Natasha smiled at him. "I'm not sorry to say, I didn't do it for you." She then looked at Steve.

His heart broke just a little. Gosh he really did love her.

Bucky smirked at Steve with raised eyebrows. He nudged Steve. Saying without words that they needed to catch up on a few things.

"But thanks anyway. Natalia-" Bucky started.

"It's Nat. You can call me Nat." She said quickly to him in Russian.

"Ah. Yes. Got it. And you can call me Bucky." He replied in Russian.

Steve frowned. He didn't quite get what they were saying. He would have to double his efforts in learning Russian. This was quite evident on his face, as he found the two of them laughing at him.

"Oh Steve." Bucky said, returning to English. "It's good to finally talk to you, Nat. After all the things I've heard about you."

"All the things. Hu?" She eyed Steve.

"All righty. I hate to break this up but we've got to get a move on." Rhodey had cut in. Everyone had left the landing area to the palace already.

"Ah. Right." Steve cleared his throat. The present moment and mission taking over his mind. His serious face returned. Natasha's heart sank. Buckey's smile faded. They had to save an Android and destroy a stone to save the world.

Though Steve was hiding his joy that his two best friends had finally met. And no less had hit it off. His heart had ached on his wedding day, because Bucky couldn't be there to see it. But circumstances were what they were. Some things couldn't be helped.

At the moment, things didn't feel great. Steve was beginning to feel like they weren't prepared for what was coming. He had a bad feeling about what was to come. Thus Steve's thoughts fled to an old memory for comfort.

It was their third dinner date together. Steve had arranged it as a surprise after a tough mission. At this point, the others had figured it out. A slip up by Steve, of course. He had unabashedly flirted with Natasha during a mission. This set off red flags for Sam and Wanda. He had never done it so blatantly before. So there was a confrontation and eventually a confession. Though all parties came out happy at the news, save for Steve. He had lost the challenge. He knew he wouldn't hear the end of it from Natasha.

They had ducked out to an abandoned warehouse by the docks, somewhere in Istanbul. There was a cheep bottle of wine, a mini hotel bottle of vodka, a loaf of bread and some cheese. There was also a singular candle lit next to a flower. It was simple, but sweet.

"For a man who hasn't dated in 70 years, I'd say you're not a bit rusty." She started to pour herself a glass of wine. He stopped her and insisted he pour for her.

"Yeah. 70 years and I can still pick the cheapest bottle of wine off the shelf."

"Hey," she lifted up her glass for a sip. "A cheep bottle of wine is better than a spoiled one."

"True."

They chatted around grim topics, joking and laughing about this and that. They enjoyed this time together. That was until Steve's sadness became overwhelming. Natasha had to address it. He assured her it wasn't her and proceeded to give a selfish man's confession.

He sighed, not wanting to, but wanting to talk about what plagued his mind. "Back on Clint's farm... you know, after the visions. Tony said he didn't trust a man without a dark side."

"He said that to you?" Natasha cursed Tony under breath.

Steve nodded. "No it's okay. I didn't seem like I was hurting. Even though I was. We've talked about what I saw."

Natasha nodded. They had poured their hearts out to each other about their Wanda induced visions. She beckoned him to go on.

"I told him that he hadn't seen my dark side yet. Boy was that true." He took a sip of the wine. "You know, me and Tony have always budded heads. He was so different from Howard in that way." Steve shook away those memories. "He didn't know what I was capable of. Neither did I." His thoughts turned to recent events. All that happened surrounding the break up of the Avengers. He scoffed at himself. It almost sounded like a cry. "You know what I've done. I've done some horrible things. I did them thinking they were for the right reasons, but they just weren't. Bucky... the Winter Soldier killed Tony's parents Nat. Howard... And I put Bucky in front of everyone still. I hurt Tony, and didn't really care. I didn't care about breaking up the team. I didn't think about you. Which I should've. You're always thinking of others. Of me."

She smiled a sad smile. He was not the bright eyed Boy Scout she had met on that hellacarrier. He wasn't that good honest man anymore. He knew it, and his realization of this broke her heart.

He saw this sentiment in her eyes. Which continued to prove the point that they weren't reliant on words to communicate. "You've changed too. By heavens, you've changed so much for the better."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Come on Nat. You know. You've really grown. I don't think I've said out loud, but I'm proud of you. If I even have a right to be proud. The way I've treated you..." he had chastised himself for not helping her in the events that had happened. She had proved to be a good a friend to him. He hadn't really returned the favor.

"Stop it Steve. Stop beating yourself up. The decisions we make, we make them and move on. We deal with the consequences when we're faced with them. And I have grown. You're a big part of that. You've really helped me. You've grown too. And some for the better. And Steve, sometimes our stupid decisions are the right ones for our hearts. For ourselves."

Her words struck him. They rang true.

"Sometimes we have to be selfish. Human. We have to allow ourselves that much. You gotta let yourself bleed every once in a while and not tear yourself up for it."

He knew he was human. But he was only given the gift he was given because he was a good man. "Not perfect soldier, but a good man."

Though recently he had put his best friend in front of what was best for the world. He had turned against the people he had began to call family. It was selfish, but it was to save his original family. He hadn't made a good decision. Or had he?

He had loved his Avengers family, but he had loved Bucky since he was a boy. They were best friends, brothers, and at the end of the day the only family either of them had left. Loyalty had always been important to their friendship. This had tested it. Looking back on it, it had tasted Natasha and Steve's friendship as well.

The world wasn't as black and white as it once was. Decisions weren't just good or bad, they could be good but questionable.

"It was selfish of me to do the things that I did." He admitted aloud.

She shook her head at him. Would you just quit it, her face said very clearly.

"But it was so selfless of you to do what you did. Admit it. You made some stupid decisions on your heart's account too."

She hesitated in her response, smiling to herself. It was all the answer Steve needed.

He didn't deserve her.

He tentatively reached out his hand for hers. She took it. He sighed a heavy sigh of relief after he had hold of her. She smiled at the warmth of his touch and the pain in his eyes.

Oh what a mess we are, she thought.

"Steve," She placed a hand on his harry cheek. "You're still a good man. I want you to know that."

Water began to form in his eyes as he locked eyes with her. He needed to be here, with her. There was nowhere else his worried heart could find repose but in her green eyes. They were so intense and so insistent on being there with him. She was present to the moment and was laid out bare to him.

"The decisions we've made, the people we've become... We're still good people Steve. You've made me a better person over these past few years. I hope you know that. You have more right than anyone to be proud of me. I've seen you do things with only good intentions at heart. Wonderful beautiful things. But this world has turned against you, despite all the good you've helped put in it. It's taken a part of you that you can't ever get back"

He struggled to stay with her. He wanted to bail. He wanted to look away, turn away, and run away. He wasn't good enough for her anymore. She had become so good, and he had become so gray.

"It's a fact that this world has turned you into a harder person. You've done honorable things, and some dishonorable things. But we make mistakes. We all do. You're still good. Steve you need to believe that. I do. That you're a good man."

This was the first time he had began to cry in the presence of a woman in this century. He wept tears of despair and of sadness. He fell into Natasha's arms and she held him. He was experiencing so many emotions, and was letting many of them out for the first time.

Natasha was patient through it all. She held him and helped him through it. He would always be thankful to her for this.

As the night began to welcome dawn they still sat besides each other holding hands. There was no more wine, nor food, nor vodka. Natasha had let Steve finish the tiny bottle.

It was now mostly silence. But they were each present to each other. She had begun to rest her head on his shoulder as they awaited the rising of the sun.

"Hey Nat."

"Hmm?"

"How are you?"

"I'm perfectly fine."

"I want to apologize, tonight was suppose to be..." he was searching, no scrambling for the right words.

Natasha was curious.

"...enjoyable. It was supposed to be enjoyable. Not-"

"Stop it Steve. The way this works is we help each other out. Especially with these types of things. You've always been there for me when I'm the one that's crying."

"Nat..."

"Stop it. Don't apologize. I'm here for you, and glad to be. Besides it was an enjoyable night. I enjoy spending time with you. Whatever it is we're doing or talking about."

His eyes looked her over. She was being honest. Sometimes he had trouble believing her when she was being this sincere. He had begun to trust people less, and less. He had begun to disbelieve people when they showed him love. But he didn't want to be that person anymore. He didn't want to hold anything back. He wanted to be a better, different, but better man. For himself and for Natasha.

"Natasha..."

"Hmm?"

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

She got hold of his jacket, keeping him there. Keeping him close.

"Steve." She let out in a whisper.

His face was next to her's. So close that their noses were touching. He made the move and kissed her with the tender compassion of an angel.

It was then, as he was caught up in a kiss, that he knew. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, that he would plunge into the Atlantic again if she asked him to. He knew he'd ask her for a dance and step on her toes trying to learn. Most heartbreaking of all; he knew that if she needed him he would put the whole world on the line. This he was ashamed to admit even to himself. Yet he would do it all in a heartbeat for her. He had found his partner. Someone he could stand beside and face anything with. The right partner.

The messes they were individually, tangled together into a beautiful piece of art. Their kisses were so passion filled, yet never suffocating. As they both knew how to move together as a cohesive whole. It was the state they were always meant to be in.

It was then that Natasha pulled back. She broke away from the kisses. Not to breathe, but to think. She had seen a look on his face that she had never seen before. And she knew him better then she knew herself most days.

"Nat?"

She shook her head at him. Her next words came out in a whisper "What are we doing Steve?"

"What are we?" He assessed her carefully. He loved this woman, and wished he understood her better.

"Steve, you know we're on the run..."

"I know we're on the run."

Her face told him she was afraid that they were compromised the team by pursuing this. A part of her also wondered if they would be together if they weren't on the run.

He grabbed hold of her hands. "Natasha." he looked her square in the eye. "This will never negatively affect the team. You have my word. Wanda and Sam both have no problem with this. You know that."

She shook her head. Disbelief was still evident on her face.

"That's not what this is about. Is it?"

She bit her lower lip and sighed. He could see straight through her. "No. I'm sorry..." she didn't try to avoid his gaze, for it was the only thing giving her strength.

She brought her voice to a whisper. "I'm... I'm afraid Steve."

"Hey. It's okay." He brushed circles on her hands, trying soothe her worried look.

She tried to hold back the emotions from chocking her speech. "Steve I'm afraid of being happy. It shocks me to admit it, but I'm happy. These past months, the past two dates, and right here, right now. I'm happy. I saw a glimpse of it in your eyes. I think you're happy too."

He shook his head. He agreed, wholeheartedly.

"I'm just afraid. I've never wanted something so much. I've also never feared something so much. I don't... I don't think I deserve it. But I know I do. We both do. But it's just... scary."

He understood what she was saying. He felt the same way. "I'm scared too."

He let out his honest grin. This brought out the essence of a smile from her.

"I don't want to lose you Steve. I don't want to lose this." She squeezed his hands.

"I know. I don't want to lose it either."

He smiled at her. "Something worth having is something that's worth risking everything for." He had heard someone say that to him before.

She shook her head, accepting the risk. She wasn't perfect, and she didn't think she deserved Steve Rogers. Yet he wasn't perfect, and had said on multiple occasions that he didn't deserve her. They were right for each other. She knew they'd never be right for anyone else. And she loved him more than she could ever express.

"I'm not going to hold anything back. I want you to know that, Natasha. I'm all in." He was as serious as she had ever seen him.

She hesitated a second, thinking it all over. She feared what was ahead and feared losing it even more. So she knew she had to fight for it. Her and Steve were getting more serious by the passing minuet. She didn't know where it would lead; but she had never been so ready to move forward with something. "I am too, Steve."

He smiled at her, and made to get up. He seemed to be struggling. She stood, and tried to help him.

He was on one knee, but didn't try to move any further. She noticed the flower was now in his hand.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova, I don't deserve you. And I fear I'm going to let you down. No, I know I will. But you're the most incredible human being, and the right partner for me. When it's the two of us, everything makes sense. If you'll have me I will make it my mission to see that you're well provided for, and that you're well cared for." He uttered a prayer under breath. "Would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the universe, by becoming my wife?"

She was a spy with killer instincts and expert observation skills. She could read a person, tactical situation, or weapon, like she could read the back of her hand. It was why she was so successful. But she had not seen this coming.

She was shocked, to say the very least. But as she replayed the words that he had spoken, things made sense. The prospect of marriage seemed oddly fitting. She had never though she would find marriage so appealing. They were the perfect team, and neither of them wanted to be separated from the other. They had just professed, more or less, their love for one another and their willingness to commit. She thought Steve might ask her, but never so soon. Yet it was still her choice. Did she want this? Was she ready for this?

Before Steve had a chance to ask again, Natasha said yes.


	9. Snap and Tears

War.

That's what this was. It was an all out war for humanity.

The Wakandan battlefield was insanity. Things had sped up and didn't showed any sign of slowing or stopped. They fought valiantly against the thousands of alien creatures. They did it all to give Shuri more time to get the mind stone out of Vision's head.

It was the battle for Wakand and the world. It was the Avengers' last stand.

Steve had told Wanda, as soon as the stone was out of Vision's head to "blow it to Hell." The strongest language she'd ever heard out of his mouth. But Wanda nodded a reply, she was ready to do what was being asked of her.

They had all fought as hard as they possibly could. The battle was neck and neck. Everyone gave it all they had. Even then there were some close calls.

Ultimately when Thanos arrived there was nothing they could do to stop him. They never really stood a chance.

Thor was the only one who could have stopped the mad Titan. But he missed his shot by a few inches. Thanos' last words before he vanished rang true. It was painful to admit. Thor should have gone for the head.

There was a snap of a finger. Everything, even the air seemed to be different after that. It was as if the entire world knew there was no turning back. Nothing would ever be the way they once were.

Natasha was trying to free herself from the ground when she heard it. Scattered screams.

Steve was stumbling up off the ground when he saw it. Bucky disintegrating into dust. His last word were his name. "Steve?" Bucky asked. As if Steve could help. He couldn't. It was like he was there just to watch, again.

T'Challa has vanished too, leaving his subjects distraught. Especially Okoye, his most trusted guard and leader of the dora milaje. Okoye's entire mission was to keep her king alive, and she had to watch him die before her very eyes.

When Natasha had finally broken free of the ground, she ran over to where she had last seen Steve. She found him sitting beside a lifeless Vision. Their friend was void of color, and with a horrid gash in his head. He did not look like the Vision they knew. He looked like a corpse.

She was selfishly relieved to see Steve there, still breathing. But his eyes, they looked empty.

Then she noticed it. Dust was on the ground. She turned to see a Wakandan she didn't know disintegrate into ash before her eyes. She began to panic. She looked around. She didn't see Wanda, or Sam. Not even T'Challa. Bucky was gone too. There was ash where she had last seen him.

"Oh God." Steve gasped. Utter defeat and despair was evident in his voice.

Natasha dropped to her knees. Tears filling her eyes. She couldn't believe what was happening. Disbelief, fear, and grief. All these emotions came over her like a wave crashing down. The result was what felt like heart failure. She was heartbroken. They had lost.

Steve somehow got hold of Natasha's arms as she began to weep. He held her steady and she kept him from toppling over. He needed assurance that she wouldn't vanish either. He had to have hold of her, to know she was still there. She seemed to share that fear as well. She was afraid that he might vanish if she took too long a breath. She couldn't lose him, not after losing everything.

Ashes fell all over the world that day. Trillions of tears fell too.

It took longer than anyone would expect a to round up everyone who was still alive.

No one knew what to do at first. Most looked to the almighty Thor. But the god of thunder couldn't be made to speak a word. He secluded himself from everyone, no doubt blaming himself for the catastrophe.

It was then that everyone looked to Steve Rogers. He was, or had been, Captain America. The man was visibly broken. But Natasha did her best to shield the world from seeing that. After they had had a few hours to grieve, Captain America and the Black Widow stood side by side and took charge. They rounded up and cataloged who was alive and who was witnessed turning into dust. They were able to get this done in under 48 hours, which was a feat in a distraught Wakanda. It was also a Godsend as it gave the remaining Avengers something to do. Even if it was something so small.

Banner was tasked with finding out what exactly happened. His research was conclusive and devastating. Half of the world's population was gone. It wasn't a self contained issue. Even the Wakandans were heartbroken at this fact. They would all have rather been the only part of the world to hurt if it saved the rest of the world from knowing that pain.

When they had done all they could for the day, the Captain's orders were rest. He wanted nothing less from them all. Everyone needed to sleep. If they could.

Steve sat in Shuri's lab, next to a lifeless Vision who lay on a table. Shuri has vanished from the snap as well. She would've been able to help them with fixing things, perhaps even Vision.

Steve had ordered everyone to sleep because he didn't know what else to say to them. All the Avengers and the Wakandans had found some purpose in the cataloguing of citizens and finding out what had happened. But after that he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to tell them. Banner had already reached out to the President, who had vanished, leaving the Vice President and only half of the government operational. They had asked the Avengers to come back to America to try to ease the minds of the country's citizens. The new president had given Steve and his fugitive team a pardon. But what did that leave them to do? Steve didn't know how he could possibly ease the minds of the American people. Or the American people who were still left. Tony was gone, Bucky was gone, and half of the population was gone. What would he order them all to do come sunrise?

He placed a dirty had on Vision's chest. He could use the android's wisdom right about now.

"Hey Soldier." A tired voice reached out to him from the doorway. It was Natasha. "Orders are to get some rest. Captain's orders." She smiled a sad smile.

Steve took in the sight of her. He thanked God she was still there. For a time no one was sure if the disintegrating would pick up again, taking more people. But they had found out that it was done. Whatever Thanos' mission was, it was complete.

"Hm. Sleep. I don't think I could if I tried." Steve said. His voice sounded almost as tired as he looked. Which was saying a lot. He stood there clad in his dirty and faded Captain America suit. He had stopped calling himself by that name after what had happened between him and Tony. After that fight he dropped he shield, tore off the star, and stopped calling himself Captain America. That was until today.

There was some comfort in that. Everyone knew it. Amidst a sea of uncertainty he was the old true Captain trying to get them through the storm. But he looked so tired.

Natasha's bruised hand grasped his filthy one. She spared a glance at the shell of Vision, and she turned Steve away from it. They both felt a huge weight of grief for his, Wanda's, and Sam's death. Even if they weren't directly responsible, they felt that way. They had been their team, their family.

They could do nothing for them right now. They knew this.

Natasha lead Steve to one of the palace's many guest rooms. The queen of Wakanda had been gracious enough to offer them the finest rooms in the palace, while she tried to establish what order she could without her children.

Natasha helped Steve get undressed from his suit. He was in a daze and didn't protest nor affirm her actions. He was just still and silent, leaving her to clean him.

She somehow got him in the shower with her, and they silently rinsed off the blood sweat and tears their skin had been stained with.

She had been determined to scrub off a blood stain from her hands, and she found no matter how hard she tried the blood wouldn't come off. Steve's steady hands stopped her from tearing her skin apart. She was trying at an impossible feat, since there wasn't actually any blood on her hands. She just felt so much grief.

Once they were clean and dressed in fresh clothes, they sat. They were side by side on the bed. Neither of them felt like breaking the silence. Tears fell silently down Natasha's cheek, while Steve's face was dry and void of any emotion. But his eyes screamed that he was a broken hearted man. He had lost everything. Well, nearly everything.

Steve broke out of his trance and looked down at Natasha. It was a seldom occasion to see her cry. She had lost some of the only family she had ever known.

He moved his soar arms gently around her petite frame. He smothered her in an embrace. He tried to comfort her without words, just his presence and his tears. He was glad that she was still there. He didn't know what he'd do without her.

She leaned her head against his chest. Her eyes were shut tight as he held her close. It was a sloppy wet embrace, full of pain and solace. Miraculously they both found some sleep that night.

When Steve awoke the next morning, everything seemed perfect. At least for a split second. He was warm in the comfiest bed he had ever been in. Natasha was asleep in his arms, which was a glorious sight to behold. Then he recalled what had happened the previous day. Where they were and what was happening hit him like a train. He gently woke Natasha, and she almost smiled. He would've let her sleep longer, since she rarely slept. But he had to face the day with her by his side. They had work to do.

This day was somehow, more horrible than the last. They rounded up orphans, tried to find missing persons, and attempted to heal the wounded soldiers and hearts of the people. Finding homes for the newly orphaned was the hardest part. There were so many children without parents, and there were many parents who were now without children. The solution was an orphanage, if they couldn't find living relatives for the children. Though it was heartbreaking how many children ended up in the orphanage still.

Most everyone of the missing persons were never found. A product of the incident. That's what they begun calling it. "The incident". The result of Thanos' hands was more broken hearts than hopefully ones.

Steve had a phone call with the new president, who asked him to come home to the US to help. It was the second plea for the Captain to come back to America to help the American people. Steve told him that once Wakanda was more or less settled, he would come back. But that he would only do what he could, he would not offer an explanation for what had happened. For he had none.

Steve even advised the president on what he should do based on what had been done in Wakanda. They came up with a system of census and an orphaned children task unit. He urged the president to act on finding children who had been left alone in the aftermath of the incident. No time could be wasted in that area.

Steve was shocked to hear that General Ross had survived. He was even more surprised to hear that Ross had been the one suggesting the new president find the ex-Avengers and ask for their help.

At the end of the first day post snap, the Queen threw a memorial banquet for all the fallen. Enormous holographic pictures of T'Challa and Shuri towered over everyone in the hall. The memorial was for all those who had perished, but the king and princess' loss was shared by everyone.

"It's a fitting memorial." Bruce had been standing besides Steve for a few minutes. He had a drink in his hand and a somber look on his face. They were standing off to the side of the hall, both looking at T'Challa's hologram. Bruce shifted awkwardly, trying to make things less uncomfortable. It didn't work.

"I'd say so. You didn't know T'Challa. He was a good man and a great king. I can only hope that what we're doing here is what he would've done." Steve's eyes were glued to the wall bellow the hologram, almost as if he was intent on staring at nothingness. Or as if he was somewhere else, or desperately wanted to be.

Bruce scoffed to himself. "I still can't believe it. Everything that's happened. It just doesn't seem real. What happened to us. The Avengers. It's like we never even stood a chance."

"We didn't stand a chance. If we stood united, all of

us, we wouldn't have fallen." Steve turned his body towards Bruce. His broad shoulders imposing and his eyes seemed to be pinning Bruce to the wall.

"And I'm sorry but I'd rather not be talking about this with you. You vanished at a pretty inconvenient time three years ago. The Avengers needed you. Natasha needed you. And you turned your back on us all. The way you treated Nat was inexcusable. You should be ashamed of yourself. You act the part of a timid do gooder who cares nothing for himself. But you don't fool me Banner. You're a selfish man who's too scared to face reality. You have to hide behind the green monster you foolishly created. You're no gentleman, no hero. I won't call you a coward. But I will ask you one question. Where was the 'other guy' when Thanos was ripping the stone out of Vision's head?"

Hurt was visible on Bruce's face. He was shocked. The Steve he had come to know would never say these things. Rage swelled up inside, but he tried to hold it back. "Steve." He tried to say calmly. But his fave was turning a shade of green. There was guilt in Bruce's eyes too, saying that he knew some of what had been said was true.

The gravity of what he had just said hit Steve like a ten foot poll. He had bottled up too much. He was angry, he was hurt. He was being a bully and Bruce didn't really deserve this.

Steve placed his arms on either side of Bruce's. He was trying to look him in the eyes. The Dr. was thrashing about, or at least trying not to. He was battling with the Hulk.

"Banner. I'm so sorry. Bruce!"

A fully green face of more Hulk than Banner screamed at Steve's face.

"Hulk, buddy I'm sorry too. It's been a tough couple days. For both of us. Forgive me."

The remnants of the Hulk vanished, save for some new torn holes on Bruce's sleeves. Bruce sighed in exasperation. He was glad to be back in control, but a part of him knew the Hulk wouldn't have come out in full force. Even if it might've seemed that way. He and the other guy still had some things to figure out.

"Banner- Bruce, I'm sorry. Times like these..."

"No. I get it. It has been a tough few days. You should get some rest."

Steve just shook his head. "And I didn't-"

"Don't lie to me Steve. You meant what you said, or you wouldn't have said it. I've always appreciated your honesty. And everything you said was true, except..."

"You're no coward."

"No Steve. I was going to say that I am selfish. But I'm not afraid to face reality. It just so happens that I don't like mine. But I'm not scared of it. I'm scared of me."

Steve shook nodded. He could say nothing in reply. He had said enough. He turned to walk away. More tired than ashamed. He had meant some of what he had said, but he shouldn't have said it.

"About Natasha, you were right. I treated her horribly. I regret that. More than you know. I'm so glad she's still here. I have no right to that, I know. It's just... Don't- don't take it for granted. What you and Natasha have." Bruce eyed Steve's wedding ring for a second. "That's all."

She was looking out the large window with a phone in hand when Steve came in. Her silhouette against the background of the Wakandan landscape showed that she was deep in thought. She held the phone close to her chest.

Steve collapsed onto the bed. It had been a rather tough day. Less strenuous on the body but more so on the heart. This had been true for the both of them.

Steve turned on his side to look at her. He quickly knew that something was wrong. He sprung up and neared her.

"Nat?"

She let out a long sigh, but she still kept her eyes on the horizon.

"Tell me. What is it." He rubbed his hand soothingly down her back.

She scoffed to herself, visibly holding back emotions. "I haven't called Clint."

Steve's head dropped to the floor. "Oh, Nat." His heart ached for her and with her. They had tried to reach the Bartons, but it was to no avail. Satellite images of their home gave them no hints or clues to the family's whereabouts. Thus the Bartons had been very much on their minds. They had no idea if they had survived.

"We've tried to reach out, yes. But I have another way to contact him. One established years ago just for the two of us. I didn't mention it because it was between me and Clint, an no one else." She nodded at Steve, telling him that she had now entrusted this secret to him.

It seemed the more secrets she shared with him effected him two ways at the same time. The first was a feeling of relief and trust. The second was the realization of how many secrets she had and how much he didn't yet know.

Natasha's eyes were now on the ground, followed by her silence for a moment. "But I don't think I can use it." She squeezed the phone in her hand. Fright and pain was displayed on her face. "They say ignorance is bliss..."

She finally turned her face towards him. Green eyes met blue steady ones.

"Steve. There's no chance that they all survived. Fifty percent Steve. Fifty percent. Clint could be gone, and Laura and the kids... Nathaniel..."

"Nat..."

"That news would break me."

Steve delicately places his hands on either side of her face. His eyes spoke for him. They told her that whatever was to come, he would be there. He also assured her with his gaze that she was strong enough to not break.

She loosened her grip on the phone, and Steve seized this opportunity to take it away from her.

"Natasha, not knowing is going to eat you up. Nothing can be more horrible than what you already fear has happened." He hit dial on the phone, it began to ring. "You can do this. And you will." He kissed her forehead as he placed the phone back in her hand. "I'll be just outside."

Steve sat with his head resting on the door. Every so often a Wakandan would walk down the hall. But no one paid any mind to him. Everyone was too somber to notice Captain America sitting along the hall. Even Rhodey walked past without acknowledging him. He didn't mind however, he could use the time to himself.

He realized as his wife made a phone call there was still someone he needed to call. He pulled out his rusty old burner phone from when they were on the run. He hesitated a moment before dialing the number. The phone line rung all the way through to voicemail.

"You have reached the voicemail box of; Sharon Carter." Sharon's voice spoke her name. "Unfortunately the party's voicemail box is full." Steve hung up right after the voice mail finished speaking. He knew Sharon was missing, but he had hoped she'd made it despite that. He had put off calling her, but what he found spoke for itself. His friend was gone. And that's all she ever was in honesty. Though he knew there might've been something more to their relationship had he wanted it. It was pretty clear that Sharon liked him. They shared a kiss once, but that never lead to anything. She had been a potential future for him. It was nice to have someone with whom he could share a love of and connect to Peggy with. But ultimately she wasn't the right partner for him. They were still friends however. He felt as if he had let Peggy down too, not being able to save her niece.

Natasha knocked on the door from the inside, signaling Steve back in. He came back in diligently.

"I left a message. It's what I could do. He'll know how to reach me if he's alive." Natasha knew that her and Clint's form of communication was reliable. He would reach out to her if he was out there. It would only take time.

He nodded. "I uh... I called Sharon."

Natasha went silent. It had been a long time since she had heard that name.

"Her voicemail's full. Reports suggest... Actually I'm pretty sure she's gone." He looked to the ground.

"I'm sorry Steve." Her face showed understanding. She always regretted pushing Steve at Sharon, but she would never wish her death. She wasn't a Sharon fan, so to speak, but she had respected her as an agent, and she appreciated her friendship with Steve.

losing friends seemed to be the new trend. Everyone was experiencing it. But no one wanted it.

Steve took her into his arms for a much needed hug. Sometimes they needed physical contact more than they were willing to admit. Steve especially surprised Natasha with how much he needed. He only ever indulged himself after they had gotten married. They had gotten to know and learned more about each other on the intimate level.

They shared a long kiss before Natasha spoke. She held his face in her hands, her fingers tangled in his overgrown beard. "I love you Steve."

He leaned his forehead against her's, and exhaled slowly. "I love you Natasha."

Natasha lead him by the hand into their bathroom, where she sat him down on the floor. She straddled his lap as she proceeded to apply shaving cream to his beard. She took out her sharpest knife and lifted his chin.

"Finally having your way with me, Romanoff?" His eyebrow was half raised in an attempt to tease her. It was a halfhearted attempt. Though it still resulted in Natasha giving him a half grin. It was the one he was always happy to see.

"I always have my way with you, Rogers." She brought her lips to his ear. "And don't forget. I'm Rogers now too."

He tried to come up with a witty reply, but found he couldn't. He was lost in the smell of her and their proximity. He placed his hand on the small of her back, steadying her. He just watched and admired her as she worked.

Her eyes were steady, and her movements were fluid. She took her time to make sure she did the job right. She stopped for a second and assessed her work. There was hair all over the floor.

His face was almost clean shaven save for a thick mustache she had left. Back in Russia many men had mustaches and Natasha would often admire how the right mustache could compliment the right man's face. In Steve's case however...

"No. Absolutely not." Steve shoved the mirror back into her hands. He pouted. "I knocked out a guy over 200 times who had a stache like this. Please take it off."

She chuckled. "I was curious, alright? Now I'm positive."

He looked at her questioningly.

"Positive you don't need one of these. Not while I live and breathe."

Steve let out a sigh of relief. "Glad we're on the same page there."

"Now hold still." Natasha shaved off the remainder of the mustache. She soothed over his face with a wet towel and some aftershave. Her hands ran across his cheeks then smoothing over his jaw line. She found it familiar but somehow it seemed like new territory. He had had the beard for the entirety of their marriage. She hadn't realized just how much she missed him without it.

He attempted to chuckle at her new fascination with his face. But he was stopped shy when he gave into the urge to pull her closer. He gently pushed on the small of her back bringing her in. Their faces came together and their lips met.

They ended up making an absolute mess of the bathroom. Somehow they were able to move back into the bedroom and eventually they made it to the bed. Making love was never a passionless endeavor for them. Quite the contrary. It was seldom an occasion that did't leave evidence in its wake. There was always a mess to clean up in the morning. Though they always worked together to do that after they had worked a little more together between the sheets.

The next morning the light from the newly risen sun came to greet them both. Natasha was sprawled out on top on Steve, and his face was nuzzled into her shoulder. Their eyes found each other in an instant. They both naturally woke when the sun did.

"Morning." Steve reached out and found her hand. He kissed it.

"Yes it is." She smiled a little. Her hand broke free of his and touched his face. The bags under his eyes were the slightest bit smaller. Without the beard and with a night of some tender love and care he looked refreshed. He looked less tried too, which baffled Natasha. She wasn't sure how much sleep they had got, though she was glad for what sleep they did. She was glad for what had kept them from sleeping too.

Steve and Natasha stayed staring at each other lovingly for a nice amount of time. Though eventually Steve's eyes wandered away and his sad face returned. This brought sadness to Natasha's eyes as well. The world was in disarray and they were in bed.

"We have a lot to do today." he said, his face was more Captain America than Steve Rogers at that moment.

"I know."

"We're gonna rap things up here and head home. We'll see if we can be of any help over there."

She nodded. Home was a nice thought. But what they were tasked to do was not. She had once speculated that after the battle they might hang up the mantles and settle down. But that was out of the question now. They had lost. There was lots of work to do. Each of them secretly hoped against hope that there was some solution to this problem.

"I'm not going to lie, I don't want to leave."

"Me neither, Wakanda has been... well it's been a lot of things, some terrible some of them wonderful."

Natasha smiled. "You're right. But I wasn't talking about Wakanda. I was talking about bed."

"Ah."

"Five more minuets?" She tugged on his arm a little, and smirked.

"For my wife? How about twenty minuets?" He smiled.


	10. After the End

Leaving Wakanda was easier than they had expected. It was a somber farewell to the people that they had come to know. Though it was a relief to leave a place where they had witness so many horrors.

The ride back to the compound was painfully silent. The raccoon who went by Rocket sat next to Thor, and scarcely spoke. He had been known previously as the talking and talking and talking raccoon. Though Thor called him Rabbit. The Asguardian still needed to visit a zoo.

Thor had joined them due to a spur of the moment decision. He had been insistent on his plans to go back into space to find the rest of his people. Rocket had vowed to journey by Thor's side, since he too needed to find 'his people'. But before their galaxy trekking quest, Thor wanted to check up on some of his friends in the States. If they were even alive.

Rhodey helped Natasha pilot the quinjet. It was new territory for the both of them. Rhodey had never flown an Avengers Quinjet. He was use to air force issued planes. Natasha had always been the copilot to Sam while they were on the run.

Sam's absence was heartily felt by Natasha and Steve. Rhodey felt his absence too. He grasped the dogtags that hung above the cockpit window. They were Sam's from his time in service. He whispered a prayer for his fallen comrade.

Steve recalled calling Sam's only sister the day of the incident. It was by far the hardest phone call he had ever made. But he had to let her know. For Sam.

Steve pushed those thoughts aside. "Rocket. I wanted to offer my condolences. I only met your friend Groot on the battle field. But I greatly respected his bravery, ferocity, and kindness in the field. He will be sorely missed. I'm sure."

"Ha." The raccoon scoffed cynically. "Yeah. Yeah, he will be." Rocker raised his chin and straightened his back. "Who are you again?"

"I'm Steve Rogers. I don't think we've been properly introduced."

"Yeah. Well I'm Rocket."

Steve nodded, then turned to Thor.

"Thor."

The Asguardian remained silent.

"Despite everything, it's good to see you. I've missed having you around these past couple of years."

"Thank you Steve. I have missed your company too. I was sorry to hear of the civil war the Avengers went through in my absence. It would not have happened if I was here."

Steve doubted that. "Thanks. But I'm sure you were needed more elsewhere."

Thor grimaced, thinking back to what had happened to him the past three years. "Well, if you mean by Jane breaking up with me, my father dying, my evil sister showing up, Asguard getting destroyed, and seeing my brother die. I guess I was needed elsewhere. To witness it all."

Steve was speechless. He had no idea what Thor had been up to since he had last seen him.

"I uh... I wanted to give you some good news. Seems like you could use it."

"Good news. Now that's something I have missed. Tell me Steve."

Steve smiled slightly. He desperately wanted to give his friend somthing to cheer him up. He had seen so much pain.

"Natasha, Sam, Wanda and I have been on the run for the past two years." He paused. Trying to figure out how to get to his next point.

"Yes. I heard about that. Steve? How is this good news?"

"I was getting to that. Over that period of time the four of us became very close. Even closer than before."

Thor looked a little confused. He was unsure of what the back before referred to. He had missed a lot.

"When me and Natasha were training the new recruits. After Ultron, and before the civil war."

"Ah."

Steve hesitated a second before he continued. "While on the run some of us started to realize certain things about ourselves and each other..."

Thor let out the smallest smile. He had picked up something in Steve's tone of voice. "You've fallen in love, haven't you?"

"Ha. Yes. As a matter of fact. But I suppose I was already in love. It just became clear when we had scarcely anything but each other."

"I'm glad Steve." Thor placed one of his enormous hands on Steve's shoulder. He frowned. "I'm sorry too. I know it must be hard. Finding love and then losing it."

"Thor-"

He embraced Steve. "I'm sorry for your loss. Wanda didn't deserve to vanish. If anyone deserved it it's me. You two had your whole lives ahead of you."

"No. Thor." Steve broke out of the hug. "I am heartbroken for Wanda's loss, and Sam's, and Vision's. But I didn't fall in love with any of them. It's Natasha. Natasha and I." Steve smiled to himself.

Thor laughed. It was the first time Steve had seen him laugh in three years.

Thor brought his voice to a whisper. "But what about Banner?" His eyes pointed to the man who sat not too far behind them.

"Well, he left her... You both left a long time ago. Hearts healed and things happened. Time does things to you."

"Ah. His loss I suppose. Congratulations Steve." He took Steve's hand and shook it. His face soon returned to its stoic and emotionless expression.

"Thanks Thor. And that isn't even the best of the news. While we were on the run, we got married."

Thor's eyes lit up. He scooped Steve into his arms and lifted him in the air as he hugged him. "Congratulations!" Thor exclaimed.

"What's all that about? What do they have to be celebrating?" A gloomy Rhodey asked Natasha.

"I think Steve just told Thor that we got married." She said nonchalantly.

Rhodes nearly jumped out of the cockpit. "What?! You and Steve?"

Natasha let out a small smile. "Yeah. Two years on the run does things to you. We got board." She shrugged sarcastically.

"In Asgard wedding feasts take two whole months. Each month is dedicated to each of the two persons joining together in marriage. I love wedding feasts. All of Asguard knows that where the party's at, Thor is there also." Thor's eyes widened as if he had struck gold. "I have an idea! I've got to throw a feast for you and Natasha! Asguardian style." Thor's face screamed excitement.

"Two months is a little long. And we have work to do."

"How about this, when I get back from my quest to find my people, I will throw you a shorter feast. How does a two week long feast sound?"

Steve just smiled and shook his head. "Thanks Thor. I look forward to it."

Thor grasped Steve's arm. "Splendid!"

Thor went towards the cockpit. He patted Natasha's shoulder.

"Great flying, Rogers." He winked at her.

"Thanks Odinson. We wished you could've been there."

"That's okay. Steve has given me permission to throw you an Asguardian wedding feast. No one celebrates like we Asguardians." Thor boasted.

"Steve!" Natasha shouted the back of the hull.

Steve winced, he knew that tone. He should have okayed the two week wedding feast with his wife before saying yes. He was surely in for it now.

When they arrived at the Avengers compound everyone lost their smiles. Though Rocket and Bruce hadn't any smiles to lose. Memories of their dead friends haunted the hallls. It was a painful welcome.

They all settled into their old rooms. Tony hadn't touched them in the two years they had been on the run. This baffled them all.

Steve didn't take up his old room however. He gave his room to Thor and joined Natasha in her's. Rocket was given a guest room, and Bruce got to see the room Tony had made for him all those years ago. No one had touched it.

"Steve?"

He turned from Natasha's door to see Pepper Potts standing before him. She hesitantly stepped closer to him, there were tears in her eyes.

"Tony?" She asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry Pepper. I don't know where he is." He walked over and embraced his friend.

Natasha had made a pot of coffee and a kettle of tea. They all sat in the living room of the compound living quarters.

"He just left with the Wizard. Spider man showed up to help him too. He was in the reports. Then the ship took off with Tony in it." Pepper nursed a cup of hot tea in her hand.

"How do you know he was on it?" Natasha asked.

"He called me..." She trailed off, holding back tears.

"There's a chance he's still alive." Thor said. "I will search for him on my quest to find my people."

"Thank you Thor. But it's not likely he survived." Pepper admitted.

"Fifty percent, that's what Thanos said. I can run the numbers we currently have and try to see if I can come up with anything." Bruce offered.

Pepper nodded a thanks.

After their meeting Steve took Bruce aside. "You realize that it's impossible for you to calculate anything with any certainty. There are too many missing persons, and we have no way of knowing who is missing and who has vanished."

"I know that. It's just... it's the least I can do for Pepper. I have to try. Besides, just looking at everything could help. I'm curious if Thanos whipped out fifty percent of all life in the universe, or just fifty percent of humanity on this planet. There'd be an astronomical difference. Who knows, I might come up with something that can help us figure out a way get them all back."

Steve shook his head. "As much as I would love for that to be true..." he placed a comforting hand on Bruce's shoulder. "Do what you can, and let me know what you find."

Bruce let out a toothless attempt at a smile. He had his work cut out for him, and he was now living under the same roof as his ex and her husband.

"I know this must be hard for you. I'm sorry."

Pepper scoffed. "This has been hard for all of us. We all lost people."

"Pepper. I never got the chance but I wanted to congratulate you on the engagement." Natasha placed a comforting hand on Peppers.

Pepper chuckled, and then thanked Natasha with her eyes. "Looks like congratulations are in order for you too." Pepper pointed to Natasha's ring. The simple silver band.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry you didn't get an invitation." Natasha eyed her ring for a moment too, she had nearly forgot.

Pepper smiled. "I'm glad though. You and Bruce deserved a win."

"Actually, this ring isn't from Bruce. It's been a while since we've talked, hasn't it?"

"Not Bruce?"

"No. This is the first I've seen of Bruce in three years." Natasha glanced at Steve talking to Bruce in the corner.

"Than who... hu." Petter smiled. "It's Steve, isn't it?"

Natasha simply nodded.

"Now that I think of it, I don't know how I didn't see it before. Are you two, engaged or..."

"Married. Sorry, beat you to it." Natasha said, teasing.

Steve walked up to Natasha and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Pepper, can I steel her away for a minuet?"

"Yeah, of course."

Steve took them to the balcony. The sun was almost set, and a cool breeze greeted them. Steve removed his sweater and placed it over her shoulders.

"So... we're getting an Asguardian wedding feast?" Natasha's tone conveyed irritation.

Steve scratched his head. This was not what he planned to discuss. "Oh yeah... I'm sorry about that. Thor seemed so down. I just wanted to cheer him up."

Her serious face let out a small smile. "It's alright. That's just something you gotta run by me next time."

"Next time, for sure."

She nodded, her eyes told him he had the floor.

He sighed. "Natasha, I don't think I should go to Washington. It's only... I feel ill-equip to advise the president of the united states. I fear I would do more damage than good. And we still have things to do, as Avengers."

"Like what? What have we to do here?" Natasha shook her head. "I know you feel a heavy burden. But we all failed together. You know that."

"I know. But..." He went silent.

"Steve this is a big opportunity for you to do a lot of good. It's the perfect platform for you. You advising the new president might just put the american people's minds at ease. It'll sure put mine mind a little more at ease. You will take this opportunity. And you will do me proud."

He let out a long breath, as if to ready himself for this job. He knew taking it was the right thing to do. He was going to do it.

"Okay?" She placed a hand on his arm.

"Okay." He assured her.

"And don't worry. I'll take care of things on this end."

Steve's shoulders drooped a little. He didn't assume she would come with him, but he had hoped for it. "You don't want to come with?"

"What would I do? I'm still the Black Widow."

"But you're still an Avenger."

"Steve, America needs it's captain, more than he needs me."

"That's not true." He said under breath with a ferocity that was to be reckon with.

Natasha begged to differ. Her face told him that despite what he said, her point still stood. The American people needed to see and hear from Captain America. They needed to see him help the new president lead the country to a better, brighter place.

"You'll do great." She assured him with a kiss.

That next morning Steve got dressed in his military dress suit. Or an exact replica of the one he had during the war. He was glad that it still fit. Though it brought back too many memories.

His was brought back to a war room besides Peggy Carter, Howard Stark, and Bucky Barnes. He was sporting this suit, and they were all wearing smiles. Then an image came to mind of Maria Hill bring him the recreation suit with a note from Tony, that read; "dad always said you looked great in this, hope it's as close to the original as can be, Capsicle". Then the image of Wanda walking into his room to talk, and glancing at the suit, then asking questions about the medals on it and the US military. Then he was in his hotel room in London, trying to chose between wearing his dress suit to Peggy's funeral, or a plain black suit. Sam stood beside him here, offering a sympathetic smile as he gestureed hopefully to the plain black suit. Incognito, the way they didn't realize that they would spend their next two years together.

All those memories, all those friends, all that time ago. They were all long dead. He let tears fall as the sun rose. He just felt so much pain, sadness, and exhaustion. He was so tired of watching his friends die, over and over in his head. He pondered the point of living with it all. Why did he? He had failed to save them, only he and his wife had survived. Steve wondered why he was still alive. For a moment he even thought about how he would like to die.

"Steve, my friend." The low Asguardian voice brought him back to reality. Steve was summoned away from his dark thoughts, to an audience with a king.

Steve quickly wiped away the tears on his face. "Thor."

The king of Asguard placed a hand on his shoulder. "We will weather this storm, and we will come out stronger for it."

He merely nodded.

"I was talking to Natasha earlier, and she made me laugh." Thor smiled, confirming the theory that he seldom laughed or smiled in recent days. "None of us got to chose who was left or who was taken away. But I am glad that you and Natasha both are here. You both give me hope. Hope that maybe one day I'll find a home again. And maybe one day I'll find one for my heart. So thank you for that."

Steve just nodded again. He wasn't really in the headspace for talking.

"I had heard you were heading to Washington today. Myself and the Rabbit will not be here when you get back. We have prepared our provisions and are about ready to go. I wanted to bid you farewell. And good luck with leading America."

Steve let out a sad attempt at a smile. It was enough for his friend. Thor patted him on the back.

Steve cleared his throat, and finally spoke. "Farewell for now, Thor. You travel safe."

They stood.

"And you and Natasha must prepare yourself for a fantastic wedding feast when I return. Fare thee well."

"Godspeed."

The two men embraced.

Natasha piloted the Quinnjet to the Whitehouse lawn. This had always been the plan since she wanted to see him off.

Steve hesitated a moment before he stepped down the ramp. They locked eyes.

They had intended to talk more but hadn't the chance. The ride was eerily quiet and that morning was spent focused on other thing. Saying goodbye to Thor and Rocket for one.

They had both been feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt and grief as of late. They had thought they were through it, but it turned out that it came in waves. At this point they couldn't help each other, as they were both struggling to stay afloat. Steve was usually the better of them at swimming. But recently he had been the one that was drowning.

She wanted to say something to him, but she held back. This would be their first time apart in two years.

Then he was gone.

Natasha cursed herself under breath. Pitying herself. Then she stopped doing that. She needed him, and he needed her right now. She ran out of the jet, leaving it unsupervised and running.

"Steve!"

He stopped and turned, the Whitehouse's imposing structure lay behind him. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his weary shoulders. She drank in his tired eyes and sad face.

"Steve,"

His eyes told her that he was relieved to be there with her in that moment. Though they also displayed the guilt he felt. He felt guilt that he didn't save his friends nor half the planet. He felt guilt most of all because while everyone had lost everything, he and Natasha had each other.

"Don't think that." She whispered in his ear. Her eyes pleaded with him to see light. There was too much darkness in his eyes. "Things will get better. You'll see. We'll make things right." She straightened his tie, and tidied his loose hair. "Starting today you make things right. As best you can." She took his hand. "And come home soon."

"Yes ma'am." His reply was soft, and had needed much effort in its delivery. He squeezed her hand and then went on his way to the leader of the free, broken, world. His back straighter, and his eyes just the slightest bit lighter.

Natasha boarded back on the jet, amid thoughts of worry. Times were far past depressing. Just seeing Steve in this state had shaken her to her very core. Though she knew he would be able to turn on the part of himself on. The part of him that always got the job done, for the sake of the world, of the mission. He always did. Or always had.

He was not himself lately. Then again, no one was. But the strong and kind Steve Rogers she knew was somewhere else. Though she knew he would return. She prayed for it.

His usual consistent character made her think of times long past. She was brought back to their time on the run. As she flew the same jet they spent so much time in. She recalled some of the many months they'd either be cooped up in the jet, or at a safe-house somewhere.

There'd be days where they'd have not much else to do but lay low. During some of these days Steve would go find work. True to his ever working character.

He'd sneak off and not let anyone know. He needed to to gain extra funds. Mainly so he could have money to spend on the team, and his fiancé.

Since Natasha had come on board she was the one who financially supported the team. She was the only thing keeping them afloat, technically speaking. But she always insisted on taking this particular burden. She never mentioned how she had gained the funds. But Steve knew they were hers, and had been so for some time. He gathered that she hadn't been paid enough by S.H.I.E.L.D. to have been buying sleek sports cars.

Steve would hire himself out for farm work or day labor where he could find it. This is how he made what little money he had to buy Natasha a wedding ring. It was also a way for him to meet new people and gain new experiences. Even if these people and experiences were one time deals.

He learned how to coal mine, and was taught how to smoke a pipe from an old farm hand. He learned how to brew an ale, and how to tell the right ripeness when it came to picking figs. He even learned folk songs from the workers at a lumber yard.

Natasha was shocked to find out about his 'secret' work life. Mainly because she hadn't caught. She was impressed. He wasn't historically good at keeping secrets, or lying. But it went to show he was learning.

She confronted him about it one afternoon. He had gotten back from coal mining, and it was evident from his boots.

"Just getting supplies, hu?" She made a "tisk tisk" sound while flaunting her flirtatious grin.

"But I did." He held up a paper grocery bag, and a sheepish grin. He knew she had caught him. At this point they been engaged 3 months, they were starting to communicate even better without words. If that was even possible.

They went on a perimeter walk to talk. Multitasking while they scoped out and re secured the area. They were currently staying in an abandoned farmhouse just south of the the Belgian-German border.

"I just don't understand." Natasha started out.

"The team has funds, but I'm broke Natasha. I needed to make money."

"Why? What for?"

He hesitated to respond, "so I can buy you a ring."

She stopped walking, and her arm stopped him beside her. This was quite possibly the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. "Steve."

"What? Did you expect that I would let you buy your own wedding ring?" He said it as if the heavens decreed that he'd be damned if he did, and as if that was the most obvious thing in the universe. He shrugged. "And, I started enjoying it."

She shook her head, trying to stop fawning over his actions in her head. "Wait, the coal mines?"

"Not so much. I enjoyed the barley fields more. I meant the community. The hard working people who nearly break their backs every day for their lives and their families." He smiled fondly at memories of the people he had gotten to know. "The long hard days, you bond with these guys. It reminded me why we do this. Why we keep fighting and helping to make the world a better place. For those hard working men and woman and their families. And it was nice to feel like I was one of them. Just a simple countryman, working a day job, for his family."

Without warning Natasha pull his face down to her for a tender kiss. This was the first time he had called her his family. He had said it with love in his eyes, while looking at her.

She let go of him and continued on walking as if nothing had happened.

"You realize that this was an unnecessary risk." She said matter of factly. Natasha the team leader speaking.

"I would't say that. I did extra recon, got to know the area, and the type of people in it. I also have a beard."

He let that last point sink in, though she shuddered at it. She disliked the beard.

"All in all. It was worth it." He said with a shrug and his honest smile.

"Now it's your turn."

Natasha looked at him questioningly.

He rolled his eyes. "I know you've been keeping something from me. You've been trying to bring it up all week."

As a spy she didn't like that he could read her so well. As a fiancé she loved that he could read her so well. He was right of course. But this thing was not something light and charming as his secret had been.

She had intended to tell him long before, but it had never come up. It wasn't exactly a topic that one came to casually. Now was as good a time as any, she figured. She owed him this truth. Though she was beyond terrified to tell him. To say the very least.

"I can't have children." She blurted out.

"What do you mean? Of course you can. You have nothing to be afraid of. You would make a wonderful mother."

"No Steve. I can't have children." This time she said it slowly, giving each word a chance to land.

He understood now. But he didn't want to believe it.

She was holding back tears now. She hadn't noticed them come over her. Natasha had intended to tell him this sooner. She had just been so afraid of what would happen after.

"In the red room..." she tried to explain, but her memories and his horrified eyes stopped her short. This was it, the moment she always knew would come. He would turn his back on her now and walk away. Like he always should have. He would leave her because she had nothing to give him.

He opened his arms to her and wrapped her in them. He held her close and she buried her face in his chest.

"This is terrible. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm so so sorry Nat." He couldn't fathom all the pain this had continued to cause her. The red room had taken away so much from her, adding this to the top of the list. It was something so precious. They had taken away her motherhood. It was something no woman should be robbed of.

"This doesn't make you any less in my eyes." He whispered into her hair. "This doesn't change a thing. It doesn't change a thing between you and me. I want you to know that."

This response from him full of compassion and support made her tears come all the more. If anyone deserved a family, with children, it was him. She couldn't give that to him, and in the past it hadn't hurt her as hard as it did now.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"No, no." He said softly, raising her face to look at him. "You are enough." His said honestly.

A few more embraces and a couple of tears later things calmed.

"I am still sorry."

"Nat-"

"I should have told you."

"No. It's okay. Now is fine."

"But it really isn't."

"It is. And that's final."

She shook her head at him in playful annoyance.

"And know it's something we can talk about if you ever want to."

She just nodded. Thankful, but not to keen on bringing those painful memories back to light.

"And if and when you're ready, we could talk about your thoughts on adoption."

She smiled, "I'd like that."

"Me too."

They looked around them and realized they had walked the perimeter more than enough times to clear it.

"Actually, I think we could check the perimeter again. Since we're already out here." She said semi humorously.

"Wouldn't want to take any unnecessary risks now, would we?" He played along.

"No we wouldn't. And since we're at it, mind if we have that conversation now?"

"I wouldn't mind that at all." Steve let out his golden smile. Prompting them to continue walking and talking, hand in hand.


	11. Now That They're Gone

"It's still heartbreaking. Every second of every day." Bruce said, his face glued to a screen. The specs of the research he was doing plastered the monitors. He had come up with practically nothing.

"I know." Natasha stood beside him with three cups of coffee. She handed him his cup, and she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Steve suggested you try to find any Avengers affiliates. If you can. Just to have them on call in the event that we need them."

"Need them for what?" Bruce asked, defeated. He was a hopeless looking man. Most everyone he knew had vanished, and he didn't see a way for them to reverse what had happened.

"Just try. Please."

Bruce nodded, and went back to work. His work was his only solace, and his remaining fellow Avengers too. It was a comfort to him to have Natasha around.

"Have you seen Pepper? I haven't seen her since I got back this morning." Natasha had been out trying to track down Nick Fury or Maria Hill. She dropped a rusty old pager on the desk next to Bruce. It was all she found of Fury, and it seemed like nothing.

Bruce shook his head. He hadn't seen Pepper either.

Natasha brought Rhodes his cup of coffee. She had taken on the roll of doing what all the broken Avengers neglected to do. Well, mostly. There were some things she could't help them with. Sometimes coffee was the most and least she could do.

Rhodey was slouched over the table in the conference room. He had been on a call all through the night, and the bags under his eyes confirmed that report. Maps and papers littered the table, as did Rhodes' unfinished meals. He was trying to locate and help recover some of the navel ships that had been left practically crew-less in the middle of the sea. The ships with major weapons and secret missiles were the ones that seemed to be the hardest to find. It was concerning to say the least.

"No general, we don't have that information. And yes, you can reach out to Cpt. Rogers at the Whitehouse, he will confirm that report." He nodded to her, and hit the mute button. "Thanks. Oh and have you seen Pepper?"

"I was going to ask you that."

They both frowned.

Rhodes reached for the phone. "Give me a second general. I'm going to have to call you back." He hung up. "Bruce hasn't seen her?"

"No."

Rhodes sighed. "Friday? Where is Pepper Pots?"

The AI's voice responded promptly. "I'm sorry Rhodes. Ms. Pots would like for her location to remain unknown."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You think I didn't try that already?"

The three remaining Avengers swept the compound to no avail.

"Guys, take a look at this." Bruce played a clip of security footage for all to see. There was a slim figure dressed in something resembling iron man armor sneaking on board Thor and Rocket's jet. He enlarged the face of the figure, it was without a doubt Pepper Potts.

They were shocked. Not entirely at her actions, but more so in how she went about it. She was Pepper Potts, and Tony Stark was missing somewhere in space. Her taking a suit none of them knew existed, and going after him wasn't that out of character for her. Her not telling anyone as she became a stowaway was crazy. She could have come to them, they would have helped. Or at least Natasha would. She knew that without a doubt.

They were all worried for her. Yet, they all knew there was nothing they could do from earth. It was too late for them to stop her, or even talk to her. Though they were reassured that being with Thor and Rocket she'd be alright.

Natasha found something Pepper left when she went back to her own room. She was exhausted and felt a little more defeated than normal. She went for her phone on her dest, and she found a letter with only her name on it.

Pepper Pots, being a the CEO of a formerly fortune five hundred company, was good at memos. Her handwriting was a delight to read, and the message was short and to the point while being a touch affectionate. She assured Natasha that she had been perfectly reasonable in deciding to leave, and that she would take every precaution to stay safe. She also reminded Natasha of the combat training sessions she provided for Pepper in the years past. Pepper also mentioned something else that had been previously unknown, as well as how much she loved Tony. She ended it all with a kind word and a: "Yours most truly, Pepper Pots."

"Gone?"

"Just like that."

"Just like that..." Steve was speechless.

"She'll be fine Steve. She's with Thor."

"And the raccoon. Not sure if I trust him yet."

Natasha chuckled through the airways. Her chuckle still had the same effect through the phone as in person. His heart lifted at the sound.

"We can't be too worried about her. She can take care of herself. Besides, no one was gonna get in her way of finding Tony."

"But she could've told us, or asked for our help." Steve said with a frown.

"I know." She sighed, shaking her head simultaneous with him, unbeknownst to them both. Even when they were miles apart they were isync.

"Hey, Nat,"

"Uhm?"

He hesitated a moment, lowering his voice to a softer tone. "I miss you."

"I miss you too Steve." She sighed loudly. "Hey, I- Wait, what?"

"Natasha?" Steve asked, confused.

"You sure?" Natasha seemed to be talking to someone else on the other end. "Let me see."

Steve thought he heard the faint voice of Bruce in the background. He swallowed hard, trying not to think of that man negatively for at least a second.

"любовь моя." She said addressing Steve in some of the only Russian he knew.

"Yes?" He responded back, his worries receding. She only ever called him this when things were very good for them.

"I think we found Clint." There was a smile in her voice. He could almost picture it clearly.

"Natasha... That's wonderful."

"Hey, I have to go. Things okay on your end?"

Steve nodded to himself. He wasn't his best self, but things were okay. He was making progress with helping the President. And he was on the phone with his wife, who had given him some good news. There seemed to be a little more hope in the world. "Yeah, things are okay."

She lowered her voice to a whisper, "Je t'aime, любовь моя." She said almost as if it was the most important thing he could every hear, and that if anyone else were to hear it it would lose some of it's meaning.

"I love you too, my love." He replied, his voice assuring her that nothing could ever lesson the weight of her words.

Cpt. Steve Rogers walked into the oval office. The President greeted him with a nod, as many people rushed to and fro. The office was packed with people, all of whom were trying to get something done.

The former vice president, now President Russel, sat deep in his chair. His young face showed fatigue and bags weighed heavy under his eyes. He looked up from a memo he was reading. A calm settled on his face at the sight of Steve trying to hide a smile.

"Ah Captain Rogers, I take it your lunch break was good. How's your wife?" The president asked, letting out a week and minute smile in the process.

Steve pocketed his phone. "She's fine. Just a little concerned, but hopeful. One of our friends... well there's also a space thing... never mind. Avengers business I'll not bore you with. All is as well, as can be." He paused, an awkward silence followed. "How's your wife, sir?"

"Oh, she's gone. She turned to dust right before my young daughter's eyes." The president was staring blankly at nothing, his eyelids like damns, holding back oceans.

Steve cursed under breath. "I didn't know that. I'm so sorry, sir." Steve truly was. He and the president had been working together tirelessly for the past few days. He hadn't even known that the President had lost his wife. He didn't even know the president had a daughter.

President Russel shook the comment off. "It's fine. I'm not special. We all lost people. Some of us are just lucky we didn't lose everything. I still have my daughter, and you your wife. There are so many others who weren't as lucky as us."

Steve shook his head. People were much worse off then them. The number of people gone still shook him to the core. He was about to speak some harsh words when someone came jogging in. A Whitehouse aid handed Steve a report.

"These are just in." The woman said.

"What is it?" The president asked Steve.

"A Hydra base has been uncovered. Right in your backyard Mr. President."

"My house?"

Steve paused from skimming through the pages, he looked to the president. "No, that was a figure of speech. Just here in DC. It's been found below the Smithsonian, amidst a hidden section of the underground. You should get some sleep sir." Steve concernedly looked the president over.

"Oh, oh. Perhaps... Go on."

"It's been found, mostly unguarded. But it's full of human experiments. Or at least a few. A team's been posted, they're awaiting further orders. They don't know what to do with the contents of the rooms that they've found. The people are reported as simply gifted."

"Hmm. Who else knows about this?"

Steve looked through the papers. "Just the task force, Gen. Stenson, and you Mr. President. I think it would be best to keep it that way. Let me take care of this before it gets out of hand. I know a thing or two about gifted individuals."

"I was hoping you would say that. Go. But take care of it quick. I could really use your help with that intergalactic diplomats meeting at 2300."

"Understood sir. And don't worry about that too much. It can't possibly be as nerve-racking as our meeting with the Russian diplomats yesterday."

The president smiled in good humor. "You're right. And Rogers, you did great work at that meeting."

"I guess marrying a ex-Russian had it's perks." Steve joked dryly.

"Yeah." The president tried to chuckle, but keeping humor around wasn't his strong suit. His face faded to serious quickly again. "You're doing good work here, Rogers. I, and quite frankly the nation, owe you a great deal of thanks."

"No Mr. President. I don't deserve thanks. No one does right now. There's too much left to be done. Too much still needs to be fixed. Too many people still gone... This world is not in a place for thanks. Right now we all have no one to thank but Thanos."

Steve entered the underground compound with a purpose in each stride. His steps echoed through the long and cemented hallway. The squadron captain walked up to meet him.

"Captain."

"Captain."

"What've we got?"

"Most of the people are out. Save for those who were gifted, the workers said that everyone south of this corridor has been experimented on. We've taken what workers we could find into custody. No more experimentation for them. We sent those who had not yet been experimented on to the infirmary down the street."

"Down the street, hu?" Steve said inquisitively.

"Don't worry sir, we still have eyes one them."

"How many are down this hall? How many are still cadged?"

"Our scanners indicate sixteen life forms. All have been experimented on. We are unaware how powerful these individuals are. All that we know is that they were successes to the workers. We were told you'd help us with a location for these gifted individuals."

"You heard right." Steve looked down at his wrist tablet. He typed down a few things and sent a message. "Before we get there, let's see what we've got first."

The captain of the squadron handed Steve a gun, and he took it. The squad lead him down the hall, which was eerily dark and narrow. There was mold growing in the crevasses of the walls, and there was a moistness in the air. A faint dripping sound could be heard echoing forth from old pipes.

Each small cell that lined the walls of the hallway had a narrow door covering it. Each door Steve kicked down with his strength of will. The serum in his veins helped too.

The first few doors they knocked down the people inside it were dead. Either from starvation or carelessness on the part of the hydra agents operating on them. In the following doors they found men and women too week and deformed to do anything but moan and ask for water and food. The next couple of doors there were more dead bodies inside them.

Closer to the end of the hall there were two cells with men who possessed power of electricity. They both tried to fight Steve, as they thought he was an enemy. One of them ended up dead, due to his lack of control and restraint in terms of his powers. He and his brother were also too weak to win any battle against Captain America.

They moved further down the corridor it seemed as if the subjects got younger and younger. Though every other door turned out to be filled with dust and no bodies.

As they began to pass the last few cells they started to hear faint cries. The men grew tense, but Steve signaled for them to lower their weapons. He knew the source of the sound of the cries. He knew what it meant.

He gently barged through the door of the last cell, and the cries grew louder to resound off the walls and travel fast down the halls. The soldiers were curious where the cries were coming from. Low and behold they laid eyes on the last thing they had expected to find. It was a baby.

The baby was visibly malnourished, but surprisingly strong. It was strong enough to still be crying. Next to where it lay in a small makeshift cradle, there was dust.

"There use to be two people in here. The mother, I would guess." Steve observed as he neared the baby. He dropped his gun on the floor and gently placed his gloved hands on either side of the small baby's bed. He placed the black haired baby in his arms and began rocking. "Shhh, shhhh, sh. You're okay. Everything's going to be fine." The child stopped crying.

The baby looked up into his eyes. The little human began to study Steve's face, as if to determine if he was a friend or foe. Steve didn't even try to smile, for he couldn't. He had seen too much death and destruction in recent days. He just looked back at the child with a blank expression, one that might've seemed harsh. But the baby just looked at him silently, drinking in every detail. The little child brought it's tiny hand up to touch Steve's face.

Without understanding it or knowing it, Steve began to cry. He sat there on the dirty ground of a musky cell holding a baby in his arms. He silently cried tears over the little child, and over the mother's ashes. Steve had seen too much death and too much destruction in a day for it to not bring back horrid memories of his past. It was as if God wanted to show him what the worst of humanity had done to the innocent, and replay what had happened in the past.

The squad stood outside of the cell door at a respectful distance. Watching the famous and stoic Captain America fall to his knees and cry over a baby was enough to shake any soldier. They stood off to the side, awaiting his orders patiently. After a minuet, Steve walked out with the baby that shouldn't have been alive, sleeping in his arms. "Where did you say that clinic was, Captain?"

Natasha piloted the Quinjet through a dark night by her lonesome yet again. She had helped pilot the very same jet all over the world, back when there were more passengers. It was hard to look behind her and not see Steve, Sam, and Wanda huddled together.

It almost shocked her that this was her first time flying to her destination, Japan. Her signal to Clint appeared to be received. If their method of signaling was to be relied on, then Clint had responded on the face of an electronic billboard in Tokyo.

It had to be him. It could be no one else. She had to know if he and his family were alright. The anticipation was killing her. No, the anticipation was torturing her slowly and systematically.

"You getting through the precipitation alright?" Bruce asked her over the coms. She wasn't able to acquire a copilot on such short notice, so Bruce attempted to fill that role. He was back at the Avengers facility helping her from there.

He was tense, she could hear it.

"Relax." She said in a soothing tone, "Everything's fine on this end Bruce. You just take a breath and let it out."

"What do you mean, relax? I'm fine. No hulk here."

"Very funny. I know you're not relaxed. I remember what your voice sounds like when you're tense." Natasha smile. She forget how much she enjoyed teasing him. The past few days of them working together brought them to a place of familiarity again.

"Natasha-" he began to protest.

"Don't lie to me." She said, her flirtatious grin came out for a second. Though no one was there to see it. Only she caught it. She chastised herself for letting it out. She began to reel back, feeling a tinge of guilt, for having even wavered in that direction for a second. She wasn't that person anymore. It wasn't fair to him...

"Hey Nat, you're approaching your location. You got one minuet, and it'll be on your six. I've found a nice landing spot for you atop an abandoned building. Sending you the specs."

"Thanks." She said both to Bruce, and the change in topic of conversation.

She past the lit up billboard with graffiti of a spider's hourglass and of a hawk. The paint was in purple, and had already started to fade away. Even with Natasha's information aided by Bruce's algorithm, it had taken a good deal of time to find the billboard.

She landed the jet and geared up to face the weather. It was raining heavily, which made it more of a chore for her to do the sweep of the area she had intended to do. She had braided her ever growing hair back so that it would't be in the way, and she wore a black raincoat with a high collar. The area of the city where she was was known for it's violent gangs. Things had reportedly gotten worse after the incident. She wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible.

"I'm going to go dark, I'll check in with you in 50."

"Roger that, Romanoff."

"Actually, it's Rogers now."

"Well then, Roger that... Rogers? Nah, that doesn't sound any good. Over and out Nat."

"Okay. Bye Bruce."

It didn't take Natasha long to find that the reports she had read were outdated. The entire side of town seemed to be deserted. Rain seemed louder, and the wind roared with no artificial sounds to challenge it. The entire place was dark.

Natasha walked to where she could fully see the billboard. She peered out from under her umbrella and looked up at the graffiti. As the rain fell the street art looked less and less like a spider's hourglass and a hawk. She began to doubt what she had thought was solid proof.

Just then she heard a muffled scream. She dashed to the source of the sound, through back streets and alleyways. Once she found the cause of the cry, she took a defensive stance.

Before her eyes there lay several men scattered about, unconscious-she hoped-on the floor. There was one masked man in black and gold who held a man by the collar.

The man visibly at a disadvantage pleaded for his life. The masked figure in black and gold didn't hesitate. He slid his sword through the man at his mercy. Natasha gasped. Then her face hardened. Millions of people had vanished, died. And this man had the nerve to take people out as if they were cattle.

She pulled out the sword that was concealed in her umbrella and she ran at the masked figure, letting out a battle cry in the process.

The masked figure turned around and did nothing. He seemed dazed by something. "Stop!" The man yelled through the mask that muffled his voice.

She didn't know why she listened it him, but she did. She stopped shy of slicing him through, and she was glad that she did. She didn't want to kill anyone, she hadn't known what came over her. She wasn't that merciless assassin anymore.

The masked figure reached to the top of his head, and he pulled off his mask.

Natasha gasped. What she saw before her was the face of her closest friend.

"Clint." She let out. Disbelief in her voice. She saw that there was darkness and a fire in his eyes. His expression was confusion mixed with anger. He had killed all the men scattered around them, the blood on his sword confirmed this.

Natasha knew without a shadow of a doubt, that his family was gone. It was the only thing that could account for his actions, and the hopelessness in his eyes. A lump formed in her throat as she thought of her niece, nephews, and Laura.

"Nat?" He asked, his tone conveyed disbelief too. "Is it really you?"

She nodded, unsure what to say. "Yeah. It is."

Clint dropped his sword and his mask. He slowly walked up to her. Rain continued to drench their heads. Clint looked her in the eye for a good second, telling her more than his words could. They sang a song for her. It was a song of bitterness and heavy grief and horridly sad days. Clint neared her even more. He lowered his head and let her embrace him, and he allowed himself to cry into her shoulder.

"This is a good friend of mine, Dr. Helen Cho." Steve introduced the world renowned geneticist to his squadron leader. "She'll be heading up the check ups of the gifted individuals. I leave them all in your capable hands Doctor."

Dr. Cho smiled at Steve, and they began to walk through the gifted wing of the makeshift infirmary. "It's been too long Steve. I am just so sorry that us meeting again had to be under such horrid circumstances."

"Me too. Me too." Steve frowned. He and the Avengers had worked with Dr. Cho for a good length of time before and after the Ultron incident. She had stayed on and helped developed a training program in the avengers biotech department. That was, before the break up of the Avengers.

Steve had asked her back after Bruce sent him the list of their allies that were still alive. She had been on it. "Thank you for coming to help me with this." Steve said.

"It's really no problem at all. I needed something to do. Being able to help people helps me from slipping too deeply into despair."

"You and me both."

"Who is it that you wanted to know about?"

"Right. You see there's this baby that we found. I want to know if there's anything wrong with him. If he's..."

"Powered?"

Steve simply nodded.

Dr. Cho stopped at a reception table and picked up a clipboard. "Me and my team ran preliminary tests on everyone you pulled from that facility. We did all the background work we could on what you found. We didn't find too much. The child is a little baby boy. His file revealed practically nothing about either him or the person who's ashes you found in the cell. The only thing on that file was the name "Leopold". Does that mean anything to you?"

Steve shook his head, no.

Dr. Cho continued. "Our test results on the baby were inconclusive. We couldn't find anything wrong with him. He's strong and recovering his health by the hour. But we can't be sure that he's not changed. We have no prior medical information about him to base anything off of. He could be powered, or gifted. We'll just have to keep an eye on him."

"Will you be able to find him a home?" Steve inquired. He just wanted to make sure the little guy would be taken care of.

"We'll be working on that. There are orphanages and homes that have been caring for children. And there are places, like the Avengers facility, that have been opened up for in need people with powers and special cases. But none for potentially gifted youngsters."

Steve nodded. He was concerned for the well being of the little boy. The little boy who's dark hair and eyes reminded him ever so slightly of his dear friend Bucky, and of the children he and Natasha would some day care for.

"Thank you Helen. Keep me updated on the little guy, and all your progress here. Rhodey and Bruce will also be just a phone call away if you need resources or help."

"Thank you Steve."

Steve joined the president in more meetings and they went over setting more things in place to support the American people. Steve and the president recorded an address the the nation, voicing the will for the country to move forward in any and all ways possible. They stressed help of the fellow man and help for the children as a main focus. They urged the American people, and those around the world, to not lose hope nor be discouraged. They would get through the terrible times together, helping each other along the way. Trying to rebuild and figure out where to go from where they were.

"Where do we go, now that they're gone?" Was the main question that was asked. They tried to answer it.

Steve shook hands with the president after their join address to the nation. Both of them only believed half of what they had said. But they both knew that it had needed to be said. The world needed some hope. No matter how feeble.

"Thank you Captain. Is there anyway I can beg you to stay on as my VP?"

Steve smiled. "Sorry sir. I gotta get back to New York. There're some things the Avengers have to take care of." He also missed his wife, but didn't want to bring that up, since the President no longer had one. "Besides, I would only ever be your VP if the American people elected me to that position."

"Ah. Good to know..." The president said, letting Steve know with his expression that he wouldn't count that out entirely. President Russel knew that if the American people were ever given the option, they would elect Captain America into office.

Steve just shook that comment off. He happier than he would like to admit to be shaking off the political responsibilities. He wasn't coming back anytime soon.

"You take care of yourself now sir. Don't let this crisis kill you. You still have a daughter, you should call her."

The President shook his head tiredly, but knowing that the Captain spoke some truth.

As he tore himself away from that old white house office, he smiled for a spell, proud of the work he had done. He thought of all the other work he would have to do as head of the Avengers, as he walked onto a chopper. The president's very own chopper, as a matter of fact. If anyone had been watching the Whitehouse from afar, they might've thought that it was the leader of the free world who was stepping into the helicopter.

Though as such it always was, he felt as if he was a soldier without a true war again. There just didn't seem to be a way to fight what had happened to the world. He needed someone to fight, or something solid to aim for. Their research had given them next to nothing, and their attempts to reset what had happened seemed futile every time. On top off that, he himself had only just begun to process what had happened. It wasn't easy, and he was having trouble accepting the reality of it all.

He got a message on his Stark wrist screen. It was from Natasha. "We found him. :(" was all that it said. That was something. Progress. It was all he needed. Clint was back, and whatever that sad face meant, they would face it all together. They would continue to fight on, and try to find a way to fix what had happened, and make Thanos pay for it.

Some people moved on, but not Steve Rogers, and not the Avengers.


	12. Going For The Head

(Spoilers for Avengers Endgame)

It was a sight he would never forget. The frame of his friend hunched over like a swan's broken neck. Tears never fell from his friend's eyes, as if he was as devastated as a lake that had run dry. The desperate gestures and the longing filled words hit everyone who heard them to the core. There was emptiness in the man, that even the most cold hearted villain could feel empathy towards.

"They just vanished before my eyes. Nathaniel Pietro, Lila, Cooper, Laura..." Clint raised his head to look Steve in the eye for the first time in years. "Pain like you could never imagine."

Natasha wrapped her fingers more tightly around her friend's hand. His eyes fell back to the floor.

"Wanda?" Clint asked, and Natasha said nothing in reply, confirming his fears. She locked eyes with Steve. This was hitting her harder than she would ever admit.

Steve sighed heavily. "Clint..." The words wouldn't come. He just offered a sympathetic look to his friend. One that could never amount to the sorrow he felt.

He recalled all of the memories he had at Clint's house, and the little moments he had with the Barton children. He received a crayon picture of himself and Natasha from Lila, and had played catch with Copper. He even recalled Laura insisting he place a hand on her round belly to feel their unborn child kicking. It was these little things he would never forget.

After a few minuets of failed catching up and coffee, Rhodes took Clint to a guest room. He didn't protest, be it due to exhaustion or the sadness it seemed he'd never shake.

Natasha sat back in the couch, visibly warn out. She was emotionally and physically drained.

Steve eyed Bruce for a moment and the doctor got the cue. He left without hesitation. Steve paused for a moment before he approached Natasha. They hadn't seen each other for a couple of days, and both looked worser for wear.

Steve sat quietly beside her. He placed his hand atop hers. They both looked at the wall in front of them.

"You didn't see him when I found him. He... he's not the same Steve." Her voice was horse. "He killed people saying they weren't worthy of being alive."

"Oh Nat..."

Alarms blared loudly through the compound.

Bruce rushed to them. "Hey, guys... Something just broke through Earth's Atmosphere."

They immediately rushed outside, Natasha with her gun, and Steve with his clenched fists. They looked to the sky and low and behold a bright light steadily approached them. The light seemed to be the shape of a human carrying a space ship on it's back.

The ship was placed in a landing position and the ramp lowered. The luminous figure became more clear in a dazzling few seconds. It was a women, clad in a uniform of red, gold, and blue.

The women walked right up to Steve. "I think you lost this." She pointed over her shoulder.

"Thanks..."

"It's Danvers, Carol."

"Carol. I'm Steve, Rogers. I hate to break it to you, but we don't have a ship. Not like that."

"Hmm. He says otherwise."

They all looked at the ramp as Tony Stark walked down, being supported by a blue women.

"Tony." Steve ran to Tony to help support him.

Tony looked malnourished and the opposite of the picture of health. They got him inside as quickly as they could.

"Couldn't stop him." Tony shook his head.

"Neither could I." Steve replied.

"I lost the kid." Desperation filled his eyes. He hesitated to ask the next question.

"Tony, we lost." Steve frowned.

"Is ummm, Pep around?"

"She's alive Tony, and she's on her way." Natasha said mostly out of truthfulness. She figured Pepper would be on her way once they got ahold of her.

"Oh thank God."

They got everyone into the compound. Thor, Rocket, and Pepper arrived shortly thereafter. Tony and Pepper shared a bitter sweet reunion. They gave Tony a sandwich and hooked him up to some morphine. Nebula declined a peanut butter and jelly, as well as the drip.

"It's been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth." Natasha said to Tony and Nebula. "World governments are in pieces. The parts that are still working are trying to take a census, And it looks like he did... He did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out..."

"...fifty percent of all living creatures." Bruce finished for Natasha. It had been recently when they had come to this conclusion, and boy did the truth hurt.

Tony looked even more defeated than he did when he had arrived. He knew things were bad, but he didn't realize the scope of it until now. "Where is he now? Where?"

"We don't know." Rhodes sighed.

"He just opened a portal and walked through it." Steve added.

Tony looked over his shoulder at Thor, who sat in another room looking solemnly at the ground. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's pissed. He thinks he failed." Rocket shrugged. "Which of course he did, but there's a lot of that goin' around, ain't there?"

Tony blinked. "Honestly, at this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear."

"Maybe I am." Rocket retorted, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now." Natasha said.

"Deep Space scans, satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him." Steve looked to Tony.

"Who told you that?" Tony asked. "I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the stone. That's what happened. There was no fight.

Steve sighed. "Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?"

"Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming."

"Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus." Steve tried to calm him down.

Tony took a few steps closer to Steve, the intensity in his eyes had heightened. "And I needed you! As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?" Tony slams the table, and everyone winces at the noise. "I need to shave. And I believe I remember telling you, Cap!" Tony lunges for Steve.

"Tony, Tony, stop!" Rhodey swiftly comes between them.

"Otherwise what we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedom or not- that's what we needed!"

Steve remained as calm as he could, though what Tony was saying broke his heart. All of the tough times on the run and all that lead up to where he was now flashed before his eyes. He remembered falling from the Helicarriers after the fall of SHIELD, knowing that what he did was right, not sure if he would live to face what came after. Then he recalled standing atop Sakovia with Natasha in the fallout from Ultron, as they fell from the sky, sure that he would die with the prettiest view. So much destruction came from that idea of an armor around the world. Which ultimately lead to the Sakovia Accords and all the pain that followed.

"Well, that didn't work out, did it?" Steve said to Tony.

Tony stuck his finger out at Steve's chest. "I said "we'll lose". You said, "We'll do that together too." And guess what cap? We lost. You weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We're the Avengers, we're the Avengers. Not the Prevengers, right?"

Everyone was starting to feel the heat and noticed that Tony was unhinged and not in the best health to be.

"Okay, you made your point. Just sit down, okay?" Rhodey said, trying to usher him back into his seat.

"Nah, nah, nah." He shoved Rhodey away. "Here's my point."

"Sit down!" Rhodey insisted.

Tony points to Carol. "She's great, by the way. We need you. You're new blood.

"Tony."

"Bunch of tired old mills!" Tony turned, giving Steve a death glare. "I got nothing for you cap! I got no coordinates, no clues, no plan, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar."

Steve just stood there far more effected by the words than anyone, other than Natasha, would have expected him to be. Even though Steve knew that what had happened wasn't all on him, it still felt that way.

Tony took his Arc Reactor from his chest and put it into Steve's hand. "Here, take this. You find him, and you put that on. You hide."

Tony then collapsed to the ground.

"Bruce gave him a sedative. He's gonna be out for the rest of the day. But he'll be alright." Rhodey said.

"You guys take care of him. And I'll bring Xorrian Elixir when I come back." Carol Danvers said.

Natasha looked up from Steve, who she was trying to comfort. "Where are you going?"

"To kill Thanos." The space woman said as if it was the most obvious thing to do.

Natasha thought she was crazy, until she recalled that this women could fly into space and glow all while carrying a ship on her back. "You know, we usually work as a team around here, and between you an I, we're also a little fragile."

"We realize this is more of your territory, but this is our fight too." Steve added.

"Do you even know where he is?" Rhodey asked.

"I know people who might." Carol said matter of factly.

"Don't bother. I can tell you where Thanos is." Nebula said from the edge of the room. "Thanos spent a long time trying to perfect me. Then when he worked, he talked about his great plan. Even disassembled, I wanted to please him. I'd ask "where would we go once his plan was complete?". His answer was always the same: To the Garden."

"That's cute, Thanos has a retirement plan." Rhodes said curtly.

Natasha shot Steve a quick look, that said "we still don't have a retirement plan". This attempt at making Steve feel anything but remorse failed. Though he did appreciate the attempt, and didn't have to say so for Natasha to know it.

"So where is he then?" Clint asked from the other edge of the room.

Rocket hopped up onto the hologram table and pulled up a map of a section of the universe. "When Thanos snapped his fingers, Earth became ground zero for a power surge of ridiculously cosmic proportions. No one's ever seen anything like it... Until two days ago. On this planet." Rocket enlarged the holographic orb for all to see. The planet was their next target, and Thanos had to be there.

"Thanos is there." Nebula confirmed.

"He used the stones again." Natasha said, matter of factly.

"Hey, Hey, we'd be going in short-handed, you know." Bruce said, interjecting. Tony was out, and so were all those who had vanished not long ago.

"Look, he's still got the stones, so..."

"So let's get him... We'll use them to bring everyone back." Carol said cutting Rhodes off.

"Just like that?" Rhodey asked, not believing it was that easy.

"Yeah, just like that." Steve said, wanting to believe it was that easy. They had a shot, he thought they should take it. He and Natasha exchanged a knowing look, and he nodded at Carol.

Natasha looked to Bruce and Rhodey, the two vocal naysayers. "Even if there's a small chance that we can undo this... I mean we owe it to everyone who's not in this room to try."

"Wait a second." Bruce raised his hands in protest. "If we do this, how do we know it's gonna end any differently than it did before?"

Bruce Banner, ever the voice of caution and restraint. Such the polar opposite of the Hulk, Natasha thought.

"Because before, you didn't have me." Carol said frankly.

Steve appreciated her boldness.

"Hey, new girl, everyone here is about that superhero life. And if you don't mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?" Rhodey said.

"There are a lot of other planets in the universe. And unfortunately, they didn't have you guys."

Thor got up from eating his bowl of bread, which Natasha had glanced at in jealousy earlier, to walk over to Carol. He had been distant and moping ever since he returned. Pepper had said he had been acting this way since they left earth.

He stood in front of Carol and held her gaze. He reached out his hand and summoned storm breaker to his hands. Carol didn't even flinch.

"I like this one." He smiled, and Carol returned his smile.

It was decided, more or less.

"Let's go get this son of a bitch." Steve said, and they began their preparation for space.

As soon as Rocket, Bruce, and Nebula made some modification and reparations to the Guardian's ship, they suited up and boarded.

"Okay, who hasn't been to space?" Rocket asked everyone in the ship.

Steve looked to Natasha. They had been through many bizarre things together, space had not been one of them. They simultaneously raised their hands with Rhodey.

"Why do you need to know?"

"You better not throw up on my ship." Rocket said to Rhodey before they blasted into space. It was not pleasant in the least.

When they entered the atmosphere of the planet, Carol went ahead to do recon, discovering that the only living and breathing thing on the planet was Thanos.

"This is it," Steve said as the team readied for what was to come. He looked out the cockpit as they landed. The terrain was lush and dense. The last time he had faced Thanos he had lost bitterly. He had lost half of his team, and half of the human race as a result.

Steve knew that it only took one mistake to lose everything he hadn't lost the last time. Yet as someone once told him, something worth doing, was worth risking everything for. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right, nor the fear that he might lose what he held most dear.

Natasha walked over to him. _That which he most loved._ She could see he was thinking too much. Them being in space had happened so quickly, and facing Thanos again wasn't the easiest thing to mentally prepare for. "This is gonna work Steve."

Steve looked away from the window and to Natasha's face. She was there with him, by his side, as she had always been. "I know it will. Because I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't."

His words broke her heart, though it didn't make them any less true. They had to do this, and they had to win. There was no other option.

Natasha grasped his hand in her's. Reassuring him that they would win.

They found Thanos in a hut in the middle of a farm. _His retirement plan._ It didn't take long for them to devise a plan of attack. Which was to attack with full force, not holding anything back.

Carol flew through the roof to knock the mad Titan over and onto his back. She swiftly got him him into a choke hold. Bruce in the ironman armor bursted through the ground to hold Thanos' arm that still wore the gauntlet. Thor flew in and sliced off Thanos' hand. It was a beautifully executed team maneuver.

Throughout all this Thanos didn't look phased at all. Just irritated.

Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Rocket, and Nebula waltz in seconds after. Steve gives Thanos a death glare, while Rocket rushed over to the sliced off arm with the gauntlet still attached. The gauntlet was warn in, and most shockingly empty.

"Where are the stones?" Natasha demanded, though the desperation in her voice is evident.

The mad Titan smiled at her. "Gone. Reduced to atoms."

"You used them two days ago!" Bruce shouted.

"I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly... killed me. But the work is done. It always will be. I am inevitable." He let out a knowing smile. He had won.

The Avengers were shocked, each trying to process the information.

"We have to tear this place apart. He-he... he has to be lying." Rhodes said, vocalizing what everyone else wanted to say.

Nebula approached her father. "My father is many things. A liar is not one of them."

"Ah. Thank you daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly."

Thor is visibly filled with rage. He summons Storm breaker and lunges for Thanos. With one fell swoop Thor sliced Thanos' head clean off.

Rocket stumbled backwards. "What- What did you just do?"

"I went for the head." Thor says as he exited the hut. He had no aim, nor much stability in his step. He had just exacted his revenge.

"He went for the head." Clint repeated, rage filling his eyes.

Natasha looked from Clint to Steve. There were no words, no noise, no suggestions, no ideas, no plan forward, and no hope.

They had utterly and truly lost.


	13. Five Year Plan

FIVE

YEARS

LATER

When a great tragedy strikes nothing that came before it was ever so awful or horrifying. Like every great tragedy time does what no one ever could. Time encourages those who have faced a great catastrophe to forget it. This is often the only way forward. One must continue living as the world goes on, and try to keep from breaking down moment to moment.

It had been five years since The Vanishing. The universe had lost so much. Government entities were only finally gaining their footing. The world had changed so much, and some of the world was starting to move on. Steve Rogers hoped to help those who weren't doing even that.

"That's great. You did the hardest part." Steve said to the man who had shared his recent experiences with the group.

They sat in a circle of fold up chairs in the basement of a church. It was one of the many groups session Steve started to help people try to move forward.

"You took the jump and you didn't know how you were gonna land. And that's it. Those brave little baby steps you gotta take. To try and be whole again. To try and find purpose. I went in the ice in 45. Right after I became healthy from a life of being sick, and right after I became a war hero. It was also after I thought I met the love of my life. Woke up 70 years later and that was all gone. Had I not moved on I wouldn't be the man sitting before you today. I wouldn't have done the things you've heard about, and I wouldn't have met the people I did them with. People who are now gone. But... You got to move on. Gotta move on. The world is in our hands guys. We have to do something with it. Otherwise... Thanos should have killed us all."

Steve was always happy to stay longer and talk with the those who needed one on one counseling. Over time he had realized that he was good at talking to people to help them come to terms with themselves. As it was similar to the journey he went through to become who he was now. And he enjoyed it.

On his drives home he always passed over the Hudson. This time, however, he had to pull off to confirm a suspicion. To his amazement there was a pod of whales swimming underneath the bridge. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of it under the setting of the sun.

Steve was reluctant to open the door to the compound. Only because the act of coming home never ceased to baffle him. Of all the awful things that happened to the world, he didn't know how he got so lucky.

He mumbled a small prayer of thanksgiving and then opened the door.

"Dad!"

Steve knew once those eyes locked onto him there was no escape. Little Ian Rogers ran up to his father and jumped into his arms.

"How's my best guy doing?" Steve beamed down at his son.

"Dad, I have so much to show you. I made a ship in class today. And I ate an orange upside down. And I met a caterpillar who's name is Rickey. And Dad, did you know that the word discern means to think?"

"Really?"

"Really."

Little Ian Rogers was a fast growing boy. His black hair had grown even blacker as he had gotten even taller. He was the smartest six year old in his class, and the most energetic kid in the universe.

Ian was a sweet boy, who wanted to be just like his father when he grew up. He was Steve's pride and joy, and he had Natasha's whole heart. The little rascal grew up in a family full of love and warmth, despite the horrid times about him. He was luckier than most, and he had been raised knowing that.

It had shocked Steve how fast Natasha had conformed to a routined life. She adapted to a life that was as close to normal as they could afford. This brought Steve so much joy. Though, despite that, Steve struggled to live a life without the fight. Sure they still coordinated Avengers missions. They helped when they could. But they didn't go out and fight anymore. Steve thought he would be fine. But the truth remained the truth. Moving on was never easy.

Adopting Ian had been one of the things that got him through it all. He always thanked God for that. Steve felt that no one else should care for the child but the man who found him. Ian was an unknown variable with a mysterious origin. There was no telling what might manifest in Ian later down the line.

Natasha didn't take much convincing in regards to adoption. Though she did have a problem with Steve's reasonings. His justification left out an important fact. He had grown attached to the baby boy. Natasha fell head over heels when she laid eyes on little Ian that it almost broke his heart.

It was something she had only dreamed of being. A mother.

For the first year after the cataclysmic event, Steve, Natasha and baby Ian were a little family. Tony had given Natasha the keys to the compound. She and Steve ran operations, while trying to raise a child, maintain a marriage, and deal with an immense amount of grief. It was far from easy, but they somehow made it through.

"Hey Steve-o," Cassie Lang mumbled as she entered the kitchen. She grabbed a banana with one hand while a book rested in the other.

"That's Uncle Steve-o to you, Ms. Lang." He said with a teasing smile.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, thinking him the stupidest human on the planet at that moment. It was her father's birthday and she missed him. More so today than any other day in the calendar year.

Cassie Lang had brought herself to the Avengers facility shortly after the Vanishing. She had been left an orphan and had nowhere else to turn. Steve and Natasha welcomed her with open arms. They couldn't turn away the child of their former comrade. Steve had liked Scott and was truly sad to hear of his demise.

Cassie had taken to Steve immediately, already having been a fan of Captain America. And yet she grew to love Steve Rogers even more than the Captain America she idolized. She had found similarities between her father and Steve, which were comforting. He had a similar optimism and way with children.

Steve and Cassie were great pals from the get-go. They enjoyed playing music, painting, and running together.

Cassie had also become a sort of big sister to Ian. She loved the boy as if he was her own blood.

Though there were always rough patches. Steve was not her father. As she had gotten older that had become even more clear. Ian was not a cute little baby anymore, and had started to get on her nerves.

"Check that attitude young lady!" Steve called out to her as she left the kitchen. "Teenagers." He mumbled to himself.

"That was rude." The six year old in Steve's arms pouted in the direction of the older girl.

"You got that right kid." Steve messed up the dark hair atop his son's head, to which he giggled. "But you be kind to her. And don't you be picking up her bad habits. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know where you're mom's at?"

"Umm... no."

"Oh, hello Cpt. Rogers." The teenage boy, Azari said as he entered the kitchen. "How were your counseling sessions today?" The young man asked, his Wakandan accent was thick as he spoke.

Azari was one of the many adolescents who resided at the compound. He was a member of the royal family of Wakanda. Due to the Vanishing he was to sit on the throne once he became of age. Thus Okoye and Wakanda's queen had him sent to the compound. Azari was to remain there for safekeeping and an education that was fit for the next black panther.

The Maximoff School for the Gifted, formerly known as the compound, had become a home for youth who had enhanced powers or abilities. It was also a school for anyone who needed Avengers quality training.

Bruce Banner had fused with the Hulk and now taught a variety of courses. His new and improved self, Professor Hulk fit right in. He thrived as a teacher and adored the children. He, Steve, Natasha, Dr. Cho, Okoye, and on occasion Tony Stark, were the faculty. Though Tony only ever taught as a holographic recording. They all shared the same goal of the school, which was to train the next generation of game changers. But most importantly, to give kids who had lost everything a kind of home again.

Steve smiled. Azari's polite manners and accent always reminded him of T'Challa. The boy's cousin. A man Steve respected and had been honored to call friend. "They were good. Thanks for asking. You excited for our training session tomorrow morning?"

Azari took a cherry soda from the fridge. "Yes, Sir."

"I have no doubt that you'll be there on the dot. Can you make sure Torunn makes it on time this session? I know she tries, but she could use a little help."

The future king of Wakanda repressed as sigh. Torunn was his Asguardian training partner. Though she was very powerful, she loved her sleep very much. So much so that sometimes she'd sleep-fight anyone who tried to disturb her peace and quiet.

"Yes, Sir. I will try."

"You haven't seen my wife around have you?"

"I believe she has a meeting. It is Tuesday." He said as if Steve shouldn't be surprised.

Steve mumbled a curse under breath. He had forgotten what day it was. He had missed a meeting.

Steve ran down hallways and hanging photos of dead friends and teammates. He sped past pictures of friends long gone and days far in the past.

He found a tired figure sitting behind a desk where he knew she'd be. Her foot was on the table next to an untouched peanut butter sandwich. Her hands were in front of her face. She had given up suppressing tears.

"Here I am hoping those tears are because I didn't do my laundry last night."

She let out a small smile at his jab, because it was irritating and a little funny. It was what she needed at this moment, and an irritating she begrudgingly loved.

He closed the distance between them and plopped onto a chair.

"You know, things never get any easier." She said after a heavy sigh.

"No they don't." He gave her a reassuring smile, knowing what her tears had to be about. "Where is he?"

"You mean where was he? He was in Mexico. Killed a bunch of cartel members. Very brutally. Rhodey is gonna find out where he's going next."

"Natasha..."

"I know. I know. If Rhodey finds him... I'll figure out what to do with him then. I'll..."

"We'll figure out what to do. Together"

"I'm sure we will." She cleared her throat. "By the way, where were you two hours ago? We were supposed to debrief the team. It was a hell of a conference call."

"Sorry about that. I lost track of time. Got held up by a few members. This girl, Gale, was having a really rough week. Her dead husband has a twin brother who just resurfaced."

Natasha scowled, not envying the woman's predicament.

"But I also saw the most incredible thing on the way home."

Before she had a chance to speak, Steve continued.

"I saw a pod of whales as I drove over the bridge."

"In the Hudson?"

Steve nodded. "There's fewer ships, cleaner water."

Natasha let her lips move into a slight smile. "This doesn't excuse you missing the meeting, Mr. Positive."

"I have an inside woman who was there. I'm sure I could coax something out of her."

"Oh, you can sure try."

They exchanged playful smirks for the first time in a while. Mischief lined their eyes.

Natasha's playful facade faded slowly. "By the way, be delicate with Cassie when you see her. Today's her dad's birthday. She's been a little snappy. She just needs some space."

Steve nodded, the dots connecting in his mind a little too late. There were things about people that Steve missed. A 'fondue snafu' happened every now and again, and Steve Rogers couldn't help it. That's where Natasha came in.

Although Natasha and Cassie took some time to warm to each other, they had gone on to form a strong bond. They understood each other in ways that Steve never could. He was always glad to know that Natasha was there for Cassie when he couldn't be.

Steve went over to Natasha and kissed her on the forehead, then proceeded rubbing circles into her back. She gladly fell into his touch, and appreciated the relaxation her tense muscles now felt.

"What's this for?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. Or everything."

He stopped and looked down at her. There was exhaustion on both of their brows. Yet, love was the only thing in their eyes.

"Did you see what my favorite human made for me today?" She asked, breaking their lovers trance.

"No. But I heard."

Natasha lifted a paper ship from her desk. It was clumsily made, though it maintained it's form well.

"He told me I could name it. I tried to name it Ian. But he said that ships were only allowed to have girl names, and that that's what Prof. Hulk told him."

"Ah."

"So we decided to name it together. We landed on Sarah. For his grandma."

Steve's heart swelled with pride. Though it was a small thing to name a paper ship after his mother, he found such joy in it. He loved Natasha and Ian more than anything in the whole universe.

As he started on smothering his wife in a embrace, an alert sounded.

"What's that?"

"I don't know." Natasha pulled up the live footage of the compound.

"Hello. Is anybody there? Is anyone home? This is Scott Lang! You know that. We met a few years ago, at the airport? I got really big, and I had my mask on. You wouldn't recognize me..."

"Is this an old recording?"

"It's the front gate." Natasha stared at the screen as if it was a unicorn. Impossible.

Scott was jumping up and down in front of an old van, waving his hands in the air. "Ant-Man! I'm Ant-Man. You know that. I need to talk to you guys."

"Natasha, you get Cassie, and I'll go get the gate."

"Okay."

"Cassie, sweetheart?" Natasha opened the door to the teen's room. She was surprised to find that the girl was not alone.

Cassie was sitting on her bed and little Ian was sitting on her lap. They were watching a show on her laptop and sharing one set of earphones. Ian looked to be asleep, though Cassie was still keeping the little boy propped up.

Cassie looked up to see Natasha in the doorway. She pulled out her one earphone, careful not to wake Ian. "Hey Aunt Nat."

Natasha smiled warmly at the sight. "Hey."

Cassie looked down at Ian in her lap. "Sorry..."

"No you're not." Natasha came over and sat on the bed. Cassie handed off Ian to her and he continued to sleep. "You know the rules Cassie. Ian's not suppose to be watching movies this late."

"I won't tell Uncle Steve if you don't." Cassie said quickly, and with a smirk.

Natasha just shook her head at the young Ms. Lang. The girl had grown up quicker than she was supposed to. At fifteen years old she had already become a match for Natasha and her witty banter.

"And besides. It was a show. Not a movie. You never specified that he couldn't watch any shows." Cassie huffed.

"We have one weekly meeting..."

"'Some rules that are set in place have to be broken.' You said that Aunt Nat. You did."

"Now don't you go using my training motto's against me."

"Sorry. I was taught by the best."

"Nah." Natasha shook her head. She then placed a hand on Cassie's arm. "You been okay?"

Cassie stifled a sigh. "I... I've definitely been better. Though Avatar the Last Airbender is always a nice distraction." The girl looked at her computer.

Natasha smiled. "That's a great show. One that I personally approve of Ian watching. Just don't tell Steve."

They both stifled a laugh.

"But I have something that might cheer you up even more than a classic show."

Cassie smiled at her aunt out of politeness. She didn't believing that anything could cheer her up.

Before she knew it, Cassie was in the arms of a man that looked remarkably like her father.

"Cassie?" He asked as he held her close.

Cassie Lang had tears in her eyes. She didn't know why. It couldn't be possible. "Dad?"

"Yes, Peanut. It's me. I'm here. And I'm never going away again." Scott held his daughter as if he would never let her go. Until he realized how hungry he was. He noticed a peanut butter sandwich from the corner of his eye.

"One sec Peanut. Hey, can I have that?"

One sandwich later everyone was sitting at a table.

"Hold on a second. I still don't understand. How did you get here?" Professor Hulk asked after pushing up his glasses.

"Well... There's this thing called the quantum realm. I shrunk super small to go there and take some samples. But I wasn't pulled out after my ten minuets were up. No one on the other side pulled me back out. I know now that it was because there was no one on the other side to pull me back. They were all gone." Scott looked longingly out the window.

Cassie placed a hand on her father's arm. He smiled at her. It was a heartwarming sight to behold.

"That must've been pretty lonely. Five years inside there." Natasha wondered at how Scott survived.

"That's just it. I was only in there for five hours."

"What?"

"Yeah. Five years for you felt like five hours for me."

Steve looked at Natasha. There were ideas swirling in both of their minds.

"And look, I heard what happened. I've been thinking that maybe we could use this to go back somehow. Maybe change what happened, before it happened. If we can figure out how to use the quantum realm and the pym particles maybe we could reverse engineer what happened to me."

"It sounds like you don't know how the quantum realm works. I thought you were the expert!" Okoye shook her head at Scott.

"I was just the guinea pig. The Pyms, Hank and Hope... they were the real experts. I was just trying to learn."

"A lot of learning you seemed to have done. How do you hope to do anything from this?" Okoye mumbled.

"Hey. It's not the craziest idea ever. An alien from another world decimated the universe the other day. Remember that? " Cassie offered to those at the table.

"It's not the craziest idea ever." Dr. Cho said with a skeptical look.

"It's definitely not something that has been done or even tried before." Professor Hulk added.

Natasha and Steve looked at each other for a meaningful moment. Then they looked back to their green friend.

"On it." Professor Hulk brought a very large phone to his head and the room stiffened. It was as if everyone was holding their breaths all together.

"I'm confused. What's going on?" Cassie looked to her father. He looked just as confused as her. She looked to her aunt and uncle for an answer.

Steve shifted in his seat before he leaned over to his niece. "He's calling Tony."


End file.
